“What’s—Shane?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
There he was. Tan and healthy and strong, standing in the doorway to my hospital room. My heart raced.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked as he finally stepped inside and let the door swing shut behind him.
“I feel fine,” I answered with a surprised smile and a roll of my eyes. “No contractions for the last twelve hours, but they want to be careful. How are you here?”
I knew better than to hop from the bed and run to him, but I could barely hold myself back as he froze inside the doorway. The longer he stood there, the more awkward things became, until finally I felt my hands begin to tremble.
I thought I’d have time to prepare before I saw him, and now that the time had come, I felt out of place in my own hospital room. I was extremely aware of my ugly hospital gown and swollen feet. My stomach felt rounder and more conspicuous, and I hated that my hair was wet and brushed haphazardly away from my face.
“You should have told me,” he suddenly stated.
“Why, so you could just worry? I’m fine.” I shook my head. “The baby is fine, the kids are fine, everything was handled.”
“I left you in charge,” he said quietly. His tone making me freeze. “You didn’t think I deserved to know that they weren’t with the person I’d left them with, but that Ellie and Mike were taking care of my kids while I was gone?”
“I—I didn’t—”
“You don’t get to make unilateral decisions about my children, Kate. That’s above your pay grade.”
He was calm, and his voice never rose, but I felt like I’d been slapped.
“I apologize,” I replied. “The decision was made with the best intentions. I didn’t want you to worry, and I’ve seen the kids every day I’ve been here. Either my mom or Ellie drives them in.”
I squirmed on the bed, a sense of dread filling me as I felt my abdomen grow tight. Time to lie down on my side like the doctors advised.
I didn’t meet his eyes as I pulled my legs up and under the blankets, but I saw him come closer out of the corner of my eye as I shoved a pillow between my knees and finally relaxed my head into the pillow.
“I knew you did what you thought was best, Kate,” Shane finally said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “You sure everything’s okay with the baby?”
“Yeah. They’re going to let me go home tomorrow.”
“That’s good.”
“I missed you,” I whispered, trying to call forth the Shane I’d been speaking to for the last few months. He wasn’t acting like my Shane, and that scared me, because I remembered how Rachel’s Shane treated me. Like I was invisible.
“Sage and Keller’s school starts next week,” he informed me, ignoring my words.
“I know.” I grimaced. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do—
“So I’m going to take the kids back with me to San Diego.” Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “I know you can’t fly right now, and I’m sorry you can’t come with us.”
“What?” He had to be kidding.
“They need to get back into their normal routine before school starts up again. Especially Keller.”
His voice was kind, so kind, but his eyes were blank. I didn’t move as he watched me, but I couldn’t speak, either. I didn’t think I could say anything without yelling or, worse, bawling my eyes out.
What was he doing? And why the fuck did he think he knew anything about the kids’ routine? I was the one who knew their routine. I was the one who knew what they needed to fall asleep. Me.
My worst fear had been realized. He was taking them away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Why?” I asked when I could finally speak. “You’re that mad about me not telling you I was in the hospital?”
“No.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I have to go back, Kate. I have the next couple of days off, but my CO doesn’t even know I flew to Oregon.”
“Okay, well, when can you get leave? Can’t you just—”
“They belong with me, Katie. I’m their dad.”
“And I’m nothing?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“That’s what you’re insinuating.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. I know you’re important to them!” he finally exploded, losing his control and standing from the bed. “But you’re not their parent!”
My eyes slammed shut, and I jerked backward at the venom in his words.
“Hey, what’s all the yelling about?” my brother Bram called out, walking into the room. “I could hear you guys all the way outside.”
“It’s nothing,” I answered immediately, not willing to let my overprotective big brother into the middle of it.
“Hey, Bram,” Shane said, his voice again calm.