I cut her words off with my mouth as we reached the back door of Miles’s truck. Thank God the windows were tinted, and I knew that Mike and Miles would studiously avoid looking where we were standing…but it wouldn’t have mattered if they hadn’t.
She whimpered and gripped my head in her hands as I swept my tongue into her mouth, and I couldn’t resist grabbing her ass and hoisting her up until she was braced against the truck with her legs wrapped around me.
I didn’t know what I was doing. Things between us were getting so complicated. Too complicated.
But I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving without the taste of her in my mouth.
“Don’t let Keller talk back to you,” I said when I’d finally pulled my lips away and rested my forehead on hers.
“Okay.”
“Sage is going to go quiet. Make sure you watch her close.”
“I will,” she promised with a nod.
“I think Gavin can climb over the gate at the top of the stairs, so you should teach him how to open it so he doesn’t fall when he’s trying to escape.”
“I can do that.”
“Gunner hates bedtime, but don’t let him sleep with you. You’ll never get him into the crib again.”
“No co-sleeping. Got it,” she whispered, her thumbs sweeping back and forth at my temples.
“Make sure you take your vitamins, okay?” I asked, rubbing my lips lightly over her cheek and jaw. “You’ve been too sick.”
I let her legs slide slowly back down my hips, and she stiffened as her face turned scared.
“Take care of my children,” I whispered, sliding my hand under her nightgown to rest it on the skin of her belly.
“I will. I promise.”
I nodded, kissing her hard once before pulling her hands away from my head.
“I’ll call home when I can,” I promised as I held her hands tightly.
She was trying to pull away so she could reach for me, but stopped when I raised her hands to my mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Go into the house.”
“No,” she argued, shaking her head frantically.
“Go into the house, Kate.”
“No. No.” She was killing me.
“I don’t want you standing out here alone. Go into the house. Right now, Katie,” I ordered, giving her a little push. My stomach was in fucking knots.
She stared at me with wide eyes before finally nodding, then took a step back only to reach forward one more time to kiss me hard.
Then I watched her walk quickly to the house, her shoulders squared and head held high, and as she went through the front door I climbed in the backseat of Miles’s truck.
“Cutting it close, man.” Miles said, backing out of the driveway.
“Just drive,” I ordered, dropping my head back against the seat as I pushed a shaking hand into my pocket to fist the four little socks that smelled like my children.
It was going to be a long deployment.
* * *
“Hello?”
I inhaled deeply at the sound of Katie’s voice, the hot air almost choking me. It had been less than a week since I’d left them in California, and while I knew it would get more bearable over time, at that moment I was incredibly homesick.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Shane!” she screeched, making me laugh. “I didn’t think you’d get to call so soon!”
“Had a little bit of time so I wanted to check and see how things were going. How’re the kids?”
“They’re good. Oh my God, they’re going to be so excited you called. I’ll go get them—”
“Hold up,” I cut her off, chuckling. “First you talk to me. How’re Kell and Sage doing?”
“They’re good. Well, Kell’s had a few meltdowns, but nothing terrible, and Sage has been ending up with me most nights, but pretty good all around. I think having Aunt Ellie and Uncle Mike here helps.”
“That’s good. That’s really good.” I pulled my sunglasses off and pinched the bridge of my nose. “How about Gavin and Gunner?”
“Gavin’s, well, Gavin. Nothing really fazes that kid, does it? And Gunner is soaking up having Aunt Ellie here to pamper him. I swear she hasn’t put him down once,” she said, giving a little laugh that sounded strained.
“What about you? How’re you doing?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” she answered breezily.
“Kate,” I said warningly.
“Totally fine.”
“Kate.” I could tell when she was lying. I’d always been able to tell. She did this thing where the last word of her sentence would get a little higher-pitched.
“The first couple of days were hard, okay? I was upset, and I think having Aunt Ellie and Uncle Mike here gave me a bit of a free pass to lose it.”
“What happened?” I sat up straighter in my chair, my stomach clenching. What the fuck did she mean?
“I was just sicker than normal,” she said quietly.
“Why didn’t you take your pills?” My question came out sharper than I’d intended, and I heard her let out a little huff.