I woke up a little while later under my favorite comforter, with Gunner missing.
“Gunner?” I called out in a panic.
I jumped from the bed and ran downstairs, where I could hear Shane and the kids in the kitchen.
“Where’s Gun—” He was sitting in his high chair eating blueberries.
“Sorry,” Shane called out sheepishly from where he’d been talking to nerdy-cute guy. “When I went up to check on you guys, he was waking up, so I brought him down here with us.”
“Holy shit, I thought I’d lost him,” I gasped, covering my face with one hand.
“There’s a gate at the top of the stairs, Katie. He wouldn’t have gone far,” Shane reminded me with a laugh.
Yeah, it was funny for him, maybe. I burst into tears.
“Oh shit,” nerdy-cute guy mumbled.
“Hell, Kate.” Shane sighed, coming toward me so he could pull me into his chest. “Why are you crying?”
“I slept right through it! I didn’t even know that he was gone.”
“You were tired,” Shane mumbled in my ear.
“I’m always tired! Oh God, what if I don’t wake up when one of them needs me!”
“Quit it, Katie,” Shane ordered firmly, sliding his hands up my back until he was gripping my head. “Stop crying. Hey! You knew I was here, right? You knew even when you were sleeping that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you guys.”
“I guess.” I sniffled.
“Right, so you probably noticed when I grabbed Gun, but you didn’t think anything of it, just turned over and went back to sleep.”
“Yeah, but—”
His face was close to mine, and I could hear his quiet voice clearly even though the kids were making a ton of noise while they ate. “No more crying,” he said with a small smile, wiping the tears off my cheeks.
“Auntie Kate’s gonna have a baby. That’s why she cries all the time!” Keller yelled over the noise, making Shane’s body go completely stiff.
He let go of me and turned back to his friend, who was watching us with wide eyes. The news shouldn’t even have been noteworthy to nerdy-cute guy—women my age had kids all the time when they weren’t married—but the way Shane had held me and his complete change in body language after Keller’s little announcement must have been a huge red flag.
“Food’s on the table, Kate,” Shane called without looking at me again. “You should probably eat.”
I nodded even though he wasn’t looking at me and moved to Gunner, whose face was covered in food. “Did you have a good nap, monkey?” I asked softly.
“Onkey,” he replied with a huge grin.
“Jumpin’ on a bed!” Gavin yelled as I passed him.
“There better not be any monkeys jumping on my new bed!” I teased, poking him in the side.
* * *
Thank God the day was finally over. The kids had been so wound up at bedtime, it had felt like they were never going to sleep. I understood it, though. Shane had to leave in the morning, and they were anxious about his departure. We’d decided that nerdy-cute guy, whose name was actually Miles, was going to drive Shane down to the drop-off point instead of bringing the kids down there. I wasn’t sure what the place would be like, but I had a feeling seeing all those families saying their good-byes would probably freak them out.
I changed into a nightgown and slid between the sheets, relaxing into my familiar pillow. Shit, I was dreading the morning. I didn’t know how I would sleep that night. My anxiety was building with every changed number on my alarm clock.
“Auntie Kate, can I sleep with you?” Sage whispered in the doorway, interrupting the what-if scenarios that I’d been sifting through in my brain.
“Sure, come on up,” I whispered back, throwing back the covers. “This bed could probably fit twenty people.”
“Me too!” Gavin called as his stubby legs raced in my door.
“I thought you guys were asleep!”
“Gavin kept kicking his wall,” Sage answered with a scowl.
“Not tired,” Gavin announced, crawling over Sage and me with a grunt.
“Okay, but I am tired. So you have to go right to sleep.”
“Okay,” he grumbled, laying his head on my shoulder.
I rolled toward him and pulled his body into mine as I felt Sage curl into my back.
It was quiet for a while as the kids’ bodies grew heavy and Gavin started the little sniffling snore thing he always did, and I didn’t realize that Keller had come into the room until he was crawling onto the foot of the bed.
“Hey, bud,” I called out when he didn’t say a word. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“I was all alone,” he said with a little sniff.
He crawled up to the other side of Gavin and lay down close, facing us.
“Aw, bud. You want to sleep in here?” After two years of sharing a room with Gavin, Keller hated to sleep alone. I wondered if he’d ever grow out of that.