“My pleasure,” Morgan said, trying and failing to hide how uncomfortable she was.
My mom moved forward and kissed Etta on the top of her head, then smiled thinly at Morgan.
“Mike and I were wondering if you and Etta would like to come and visit us soon,” she said. “Just think about it, and we can talk later.”
Mom smiled again and then followed Dad out of the house, leaving Morgan and me standing there dumbfounded. How my mom had thought it was appropriate to ask Morgan to visit after the last few minutes was completely beyond me, and I could tell that Morgan was confused, too.
“I’ll talk to her,” I said quietly, meeting Morgan’s eyes.
“Thanks for coming to visit the munchkin,” she said kindly, dismissing me. “She had an awesome time.”
I nodded and tickled Etta’s side gently, then left the house. That was that.
* * *
We left Sacramento the next morning. I spent the entire drive home trying to tune out my mom and dad while they talked about Morgan and Etta, the trip, and the proposed visit. I had no idea why they thought Morgan would agree to come to Oregon after they’d made things so uncomfortable for her the day before, but I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t about to start an argument when we’d be stuck in the car for hours. They barely shut up, but thankfully we were home by dinnertime.
I’d made the decision to take a step back from my relationship with Morgan, but as each month passed, it got harder to keep my distance. I’d spent the early years of my life trying everything I could to make people like me and welcome me into their lives, and I refused to do that as an adult. Frankly, I had too much respect for myself ever to go down that road again.
Life slowly went back to how it had been before my first trip to Anaheim. I went to work, hung out with my cousins, and debated getting a dog. It was as if nothing had changed, even though, for me, everything had.
I didn’t expect to hear from Morgan again.
Chapter 12
Morgan
Charity will ring you up,” I said, grinning at the eighteen-year-old girls who’d come in to get matching nose rings and were currently beaming with happiness at their new hardware. “Jesse?” I called into the little waiting room. “You’re up, man!”
My fears of leaving all of my regular customers and their referrals behind had been for nothing. The new shop I’d found, with a little help from Olly, was busy all on its own. Their reputation was so solid the customers coming in didn’t even care which piercer they ended up with. They knew they were in good hands, and I was making a steady income on commission. We hadn’t had any slow days since I’d started.
Thank God, life was finally getting back into a somewhat normal routine again. Etta was staying with my aunt Lorraine while I worked and she wouldn’t even let me pay her, so I was building up a pretty sweet little nest egg. Everything was working out far better than I’d envisioned.
There was only one snag in my happy ending, and it was shaped like a muscly logger with a beard that I could still feel in my palms if I was daydreaming hard enough. I ignored the voice in my head begging me to call and apologize for the shitty way I’d treated him.
I’d handled that situation badly and I was too much of a coward to do anything about it. I just kept remembering the look on his face when I’d said it was a mistake. Jesus. I may as well have kicked him in the balls.
It didn’t help that his mom had been so weird the next day. If anything, her behavior had only confirmed my opinion at the time. It was only later, after I’d cooled down and stopped freaking out and I’d received the first of many friendly texts from Ellie, that I’d realized how badly I’d messed up.
I knew I was too worried about what people would think. I hadn’t always been that way. For a long time, I’d done whatever the hell I’d wanted and damned other people’s opinions. However, as soon as I’d had Etta, all of that had changed.
Old fears had risen to the surface with the birth of my daughter. I knew how lives could be turned upside down due to prejudices. I’d seen it during the long year when my dad had fought to get us back.
There wasn’t any part of me that thought Trevor would sit idly by if his mom decided to cause problems for me. However, I couldn’t be sure. He was a self-admitted mama’s boy.
So instead of calling or even texting, I completely cut contact.
To my surprise, I really missed him. I missed the texts throughout the day and the random phone calls at night. I missed being able to send photos of Etta doing something funny to someone other than my sister. I also missed the sex. Even though it had happened only once, and I’d gone a long time without before, it was as if my body was constantly primed for it now.