“Oh yeah?” Mike said, clearly interested.
I sat back while they carried the conversation, and, like a moth to a flame, my eyes moved to Trevor.
He was already looking at me. His movements didn’t pause while he ate his sandwich and the watermelon I’d sliced, but his eyes never left mine. They stayed constant, full of promises and heat. I’d never met anyone before who could say so much with just a look.
My stomach fluttered as I looked away, but I couldn’t help but glance back at him, over and over, while we sat around the table. Something was going to happen. Soon. There was no way he was leaving California without making good on all the things he was imagining. I was thrilled and terrified in equal measure.
“Mama,” Etta said, breaking the tension that I was sure no one else at the table felt but me. “Me done.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, leaning over to brush the hair out of her face. “You didn’t eat much.”
I started to rise from my seat, but Ellie stopped me.
“I can get her cleaned up,” she offered.
As soon as I’d nodded my agreement, she was out of her chair and helping Etta, leaving me with nothing to do except look at Trevor again. The dads were completely consumed with their conversation about old cars, not paying any attention to us whatsoever when Trevor’s lips turned up at the corners.
“You’re gorgeous,” he mouthed.
“Stop,” I mouthed back, widening my eyes.
I wasn’t sure what was happening between us, but whatever it was absolutely couldn’t happen in front of our parents. Especially not his parents.
“Can’t,” he mouthed back.
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop grinning.
“Trevor,” Ellie said, surprising me enough to make me jump. “Do you remember when Henry was this age? I swear, if you cut Etta’s hair into a mullet they could pass for twins.”
Henry’s name was like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head. At first I was startled, and then I had trouble even drawing in a breath.
From the moment the Harrises had walked through our front door, no one had said a word about Etta’s dad. He was the reason they were visiting. Without him, I wouldn’t have Etta. All of us knew that—it was like the elephant in the room. But I’d mistakenly assumed that they weren’t speaking about him for a reason, so I hadn’t brought him up, either, and my dad had followed my lead.
Having Ellie bring him up so casually after hours of visiting seemed almost like she was making a point. Unfortunately, I had no idea what point she was trying to make.
“There’s definitely a resemblance,” Trevor replied, not missing a beat. “She’s got Morgan’s smile, though.”
“Yeah, she does,” my dad said, proudly. “My younger daughter Miranda’s smile is just the same.”
“Oh,” Mike said in surprise. “I didn’t know you had another daughter.”
“She’s two years younger than me,” I replied, feeling uncomfortable but not sure why. “She lives up in Bend.”
“Going to school up there,” my dad boasted. “She’s gonna be a psychologist.”
“She wants to be a caseworker,” I clarified. “She’s majoring in psychology.”
“Well,” Mike said, nodding. “We definitely need more of those.”
“Good ones,” I mumbled.
“I’ve never met a bad one,” Ellie replied.
I couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from, and I didn’t know when it had started, but suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I didn’t know what it was. There wasn’t anything in Ellie’s tone that indicated that she was upset, and her expression was completely relaxed, but I could feel the change in her regard. There was something about the way her head was tilted, a sharpness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. She was judging me. Judging and finding me lacking in some way.
My palms grew sweaty.
“Lunch was great,” Mike said, sighing happily as he stood up. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, standing, too. I was acting weird and I knew it, but I couldn’t be casual. The entire energy in the room had changed, and I didn’t know why or how to fix it.
Etta began to whine about something, and my dad, God bless him, stood up.
“It’s about nap time, I think,” he said kindly, reaching for Etta. “You getting sleepy, princess?”
“No,” Etta said, curling into him anyway.
“We should probably get back to the hotel for a while,” Mike murmured. “I think I need a nap, too.”
Trevor was the last one to move from his spot at the table. He was watching everything play out with an expression I didn’t recognize but thankfully didn’t say anything. He barely glanced at me long enough to say good-bye.
It only took a few minutes for the Harris family to leave, but they were some of the longest minutes I could remember. The moment the door shut behind them, my dad turned to me with a frown.