“I think they’re playing our song.” Apollo got to his feet and held his hand out to her.
She didn’t want to dance. She didn’t feel like she belonged here in this scene right out of a fairy tale. Yet she couldn’t turn Apollo down. He’d obviously worked so very hard on this evening. And he’d done an amazing job. He thought of everything, down to the finest detail.
And it would be so easy to be swept away into the romantic evening. But how could she do that when she knew how she’d gotten here? She was living her sister’s life and being showered in baby smiles and giggles, when it was her sister who should be experiencing the joy of raising Seb.
The guilt weighed on her as she once again let Apollo guide her into his very strong, very capable arms. She lifted her gaze to thank him for such a wonderful evening, but when her gaze strayed across his mouth, she hesitated. Maybe it was the soft, lilting music in the background that had her thinking about lifting up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his. Or maybe it was the way his thumb stroked the small of her back.
As though he could read her thoughts, he lowered his head and caught her lips with his own. Her heart jumped to her throat. This is what she wanted—what she’d longed for all through dinner. She wanted to lean into him and let herself get swept away. His kiss was gentle and coaxing. And it’d be so easy to forget everything except the way it felt to be in his arms...but she couldn’t.
It took all of her determination and a good amount of guilt to pull away from him. Though her heart and body yearned for the warmth of his touch and the heat of his kiss, she knew she couldn’t do this. She didn’t deserve this precious moment—a moment she’d gained at her sister’s grave expense.
Apollo gazed at her with confusion reflected in his eyes. “What’s wrong? If I moved too fast...if I went too far—”
“No. It’s not you. It’s me.” She realized the line was such a cliché, but that’s because it was very accurate, especially in this instance. She lowered her gaze to the ground. “If only you knew what I’ve done.”
Apollo stepped toward her and reached for her hand. “I can’t imagine anything you’ve done that can be that bad.”
“It’s worse than bad.” She pulled her hand away, refusing herself the comfort of his touch.
He cleared his throat. “Maybe you should tell me about it. Maybe we can figure out how to make it better.”
She wished. Boy, did she wish. “It’s not possible.”
He led her over to a bench in the shadows and sat down. She didn’t want to sit next to him because she knew if she did that the whole nightmare would come spilling out. But she’d had it bottled up for so long now. She should have told her mother, but what good would that have done? Her mother didn’t deserve to be burdened with the truth—her truth. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring her sister back.
But Apollo was different. He was looking at her as though he wanted more from this relationship than a casual flirtation. And she wanted something more too—something like a real family, a family that her sister and brother-in-law should have had.
And she just couldn’t let things go on like this.
“Talk to me, Popi.” Apollo’s voice was soft and comforting.
“You wouldn’t be so nice to me if you knew the truth.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” When the staff approached to clear their dinner dishes, he sent them away. There was no one around now but him, her and the looming truth. His gaze searched hers. “I promise. Nothing you could say will be bad enough to put that look of worry on your face.”
“You haven’t heard my story yet.”
“Then tell me.”
She searched for what to say—how to begin. “I... I don’t know how.”
“Sure you do.” He took her hand in his. His thumb lightly rubbed over her skin. “Start at the beginning.”
Ever since the baby had been born, she’d been so busy, and at night so tired that she’d been able to push aside the haunting memories. But now that the baby was on a normal schedule and she was feeling better than ever, the guilt had been eating at her.