6
Leah
I couldn’t help but feel disappointed as Jayson pulled away from me and went back to his own place. “But that’s what you get with rock stars,” I muttered bitterly as I headed to my room alone. “Flakes, the whole lot of them.”
You couldn’t count on them. I knew that was true when it came to anything long-term. I just hadn’t realized that it also applied to one-night stands. I had thought that they were pretty sure on that. There was so much I didn’t know or understand about the lifestyle in LA. I had thought that the longer I lived here, the more I would feel like I was fitting in and understanding it all. Instead, I just felt more out of my element with each passing day.
Face it, you’re never going to belong here, I thought sadly as I sat down on the edge of my bed.
I thought back to the kiss with Jayson. For one wonderful moment, I had thought that we might be on the same page. That he might carry me up the stairs and throw me down on the bed and ravish me with his mouth, his hands, his cock.
Instead, he’d pulled back, looking like he regretted kissing me in the first place. And the worst part was that I didn’t know what I’d done to make him run out of there like that.
I brushed my fingertips across my lips, narrowing my focus to just the kiss and not what had happened afterward. The kiss had been phenomenal. I had never felt such a frisson of passion inside of me before. His lips guided mine firmly; his tongue delved authoritatively into my mouth. He had held me close, his hard body pressed up against my curves, and I hadn’t been able to help the way I had gasped and moaned, pleasure licking through every inch of my body.
I had thought that Carter was going to kiss me earlier in the night, in the bar. I would have welcomed that too; I hadn’t been lying to Jayson when I said I could do worse. At the same time, I couldn’t deny that Jayson was the one I was attracted to the most.
I wanted him badly.
The kiss had ended too soon, though, and with him babying me again. Did he think I didn’t realize I was drunk? I knew I should get some rest; I knew I should drink some water. I knew I’d had one too many shots. At the same time, I was a grown woman. I knew how to take care of myself, and I didn’t need him to decide when it was time for me to go home and go to bed.
I shook my head, unable to help feeling unfulfilled and cranky. I yanked off all of my clothes and fell back in bed. I lay there for a moment, thinking of the injustice of it all. It was as though since coming to LA, I was playing along with kids who had learned a different rulebook than me.
But then, I rolled onto my side, curling around a pillow. Was it really that, though? I could lie to myself and say that Jayson had some ulterior plan that I didn’t understand, but really I knew that rejection was rejection. Same as back home. It was clear that the rock star wasn’t interested in a girl like me. He was way out of my league.
Anyway, it was probably a good thing. Our lifestyles were completely different. I didn’t have time for whatever I had wanted with him. I needed to focus on my job, the whole reason I had come here to LA.
Fortunately, I didn’t have long to dwell on things before unconsciousness stole over me. My sleep was far from restful, but at least it was sleep.
The next day, I felt like death. I was fortunate to not have any meetings going on early that morning because I was seriously doubting my ability to do anything productive before noon. I shook my head. Back home, I never would have done anything like this. I felt embarrassed as I thought about the fact that everyone else was probably feeling fine and dandy that morning, or at least able to pull it together enough to get in to the office and do their job.
I stumbled blearily into the kitchen to make coffee, feeling as though everything took extra long with the state that I was in. The coffee had just finished brewing when there was a knock on the door. I stared blankly at the clock for a moment without really registering it. Seven o’clock in the morning. Who the hell would be knocking on my door at seven o’clock in the morning?
I finally made up my mind to go find out, half expecting that whoever it was would have left by the time I made it there. When I saw Jayson standing there, I did a double-take. “What?” I asked in confusion.