Damaged - Forbidden Lovers - Page 39

“Do you want me to stop?” I challenged, my teeth grazing the tender flesh of her palm.

“Fuck,” she breathed, “you have to stop.”

“You didn’t answer me. Do you want me to stop? Really?” my voice was rough.

“No,” it broke from her almost on a cry.

The tension between us was unbearable, the air thick with a ripple of need and self-denial. My skin felt tight from it, my palms itching and my mouth dry like a filthy addict late for his fix.

The breathless waiting snapped at once. I reached for her. She came to me. In the middle of the bench seat we clashed together, arms going around each other, mouths colliding, lips and tongues and teeth, a desperate embrace that was at once frantic and erotic. As much as I wanted to caress every inch of her body and use the most vicious persuasion I could, I held her face, cupped it in my hands and kissed her lips, probed her mouth with my tongue. Every word I couldn’t say, I told her with that kiss. My feelings for her, my relief at finding her, the grief I felt when she was gone. The way my hands had mapped her body and could never forget the shape of her, every curve and dip and hollow burned into my memory and my skin.

“Oh!” she gasped into my mouth. I swallowed that cry like the prize it was. For that instant, she understood everything I had tried to say.

We clung together, her arms softly around my neck as our lips locked and nipped and sucked more tenderly. I gathered her against me, lifting her into my lap, long legs draped across mine, and broke the kiss and held her to my chest. It seemed that shattered fragments were sliding back into place as I stroked her hair and back. The soft way she clung to me made a trembling heat well in my chest.

“I have you,” I said. She pulled away.

“I can’t. This is why I can’t. We can’t even have a conversation without it turning into—this.” She said, sliding off my lap and scooting over against the door. I was angry with the disgust in her voice, as if that kiss were something shameful in her eyes.

“And I’m a caveman who pawed you in his truck against your will?” I snapped.

“No! It isn’t your fault. I know better. I should never have gone with you. I saw you there as soon as I came in tonight, and I should’ve turned around and got back in my car. I can’t be in a room with you, in a car with you—without acting like an idiot and kissing you.”

“We kissed each other, Layla. Stop acting like you’ve done something to me and I’m a helpless victim. You won’t find me weak.”

“I know you’re not. I didn’t mean that. I know I’ve done the wrong thing, done it again and again, when I know it’s forbidden. Why can’t I keep away from you?” she said, and dropped her head into her hands.

I crowded her on the seat, took her hands away from her face and kissed them.

“You’re not wrong to want to be with me. What ever made you think you’re not allowed to want?” I said.

She just took her hands away, “Please don’t,” she said.”

She got out of my truck and went back inside. I let her go, just as she had asked. I waited a few minutes, went back in, paid my bill at the bar and left. I didn’t even look her way.

“Guess you crashed and burned,” Maggie’s text read. I didn’t bother to answer it. I had miles to run and pushups to do. I had a great deal to forget.

Hours later, I stood at my kitchen counter with a notebook and a pen. I had things to say, and maybe it was better to write them down. Talking hadn’t worked, and neither had kissing her.

Layla,

Some of this you know and some you don’t, but it needs to be said. It’s unfair for you to ask me to let you go when you don’t know all the facts. One thing I learned in the Corps was to get your facts straight before you make the call.

Jer and I grew up in the city, not as rough as he thinks it was. We had enough to eat and our mom did everything she could to take care of us. She waited tables for a creep who groped her and told her to keep quiet about it or she couldn’t bring us to the diner to do our homework when we were too little to be left alone. So I know about people, women especially, doing what they think they have to do to keep everyone safe.

Jer was college-bound from day one. I was more physical, wanted to be outside. I picked the Marines because it sounded badass. Years later I came back discharged for injuries physical and mental, with four lines of ink on my chest all that was left of the friends who had fallen.

Tags: Natasha L. Black Romance
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