There weren’t a lot of options as far as convincing her. I wasn’t going to meet with her at the health department where she was afraid of being caught having a personal involvement with me. That could do her harm and would certainly upset her. Going to her house was aggressive, especially waiting there.
I knew she had margaritas with Maggie and some other friends every week. Maybe I’d show up there and see if I could make things right. At least I could gauge how she reacted to me, if she never wanted to see me again.
I knew she wouldn’t be at the group therapy session, and I didn’t bother to attend. That was one thing she needed to know. She’d said that support group was her passion project. I wasn’t going to be the one to take that away from her. So I wrote a note letting her know that I wouldn’t be part of the trauma group any longer. She could have it back. I dropped it off at the health department. I didn’t even ask to see her.
The woman at the front desk asked my name, and I gave it.
“Let me see. I thought so. Tyler Leeds? If you ask for Layla, I’m to refer you to Alan, one of our counselors who has a background with veterans, so you can get private therapy with him.”
“I’m not here for an appointment. I just want you to give her the note.”
“Very well,” she said with a smile that was more of her baring her teeth than looking friendly, “have a good day.”
I rolled my eyes. Clearly Layla had some loyal friends on her side. I just couldn’t help being baffled about what I’d done to set her off. I knew she was unsure about where we stood, but I hadn’t thought she’d leave. It tormented me, and when I woke up now, I had that half-second where I expected to find her in my bed. Then there was the horrible rush of memory. She was gone, and her note had said she couldn’t be with me.
Days went by. I didn’t hear a word from her. I wasn’t going to ask Maggie about her like some lovesick junior high schooler. I just had to find out which night they went for drinks. When Jeremiah was doing his hard sell on becoming general manager, I asked him.
“What night does Maggie go out?”
“Usually Mondays. Why? Are you going to stalk Layla at the bar?”
“Maybe,” I said, “it was that or buy a vineyard, and beer is cheaper.”
“Smart ass,” he said, “good luck. Buy them an appetizer.”
“Will it get my foot in the door?”
“Probably not, but their wings are great.”
“You are no help,” I said.
So Monday I stopped working at six and took a shower. I drove to Cecil’s and ordered a burger and onion rings and watched my sister-in-law walk in arm-in-arm with Layla. I told myself to concentrate on the TV bolted to the wall or my damn food rather than staring at her. Maybe she’d catch sight of me and come over to say hi. Since she’d been avoiding me for a week, that was unlikely to happen, but it would’ve been more dignified to hope that. Instead, I kept my eyes trained on her every move. Her brown overall shorts, her red top, her hair coiled up in a messy bun. She slid into the booth, laughed at something. Put on reading glasses to look at the menu. I didn’t know she had reading glasses. They had a sort of sexy librarian look to them with her hair up like that. I drank my water and then glared at it. I was staring at her across a room in public. It was pretty damn sad.
I had told the bartender to send over some wings from me. It was a lame ass idea, but I had already stooped to asking for my brother’s advice. I might as well take it. My burger was good, and I ate it too fast, forgetting it was my reason to hang out there for a while. I tried to pick at the onion rings but there weren’t enough left. I ordered cheese fries just for something to do. I’d probably pass out trying to work out tomorrow from all the trans fats I was downing just to have a reason to stay and watch Layla.
I tried to look at the TV and not just stare directly at her like I was a serial killer. I saw movement from the corner of my eye and turned to see who was headed toward me. Not Layla but Maggie.
“Are you here to tell me to leave?” I said.
“I’m not telling you to do anything,” she said, sitting down next to me. “I’m just over here saying hi to my brother-in-law.”