No, I was worse. Much worse. Pissed for weeks straight.
When I finally sobered up, I ran three thousand miles away.
He’s doing both at once. But then he’s always been smarter.
“One more,” I say.
“Getting old?” he asks.
“You’ll be there soon.”
He chuckles as he pours two more glasses. “What’s there to see around here?”
I motion to the beach in front of us. Through the sliding glass doors.
It’s beautiful. Like something from an American TV show. No flaws in sight.
“You’re going out in that?” he asks.
“You sound like Eve.”
He shakes his head I don’t know what the hell to do with you. “Fuck, she’s so young I can’t even mock you for it. If she was twenty-two, it would be borderline. Worth discussing. But she’s starting college in what…”
“Next month.”
He chuckles fuck, you’re ridiculous. It’s easy. The easiest he’s been all night.
But then it’s always easier focusing on other people’s problems.
I can handle the inquisition if it’s what he needs.
Ty continues, “You asked about my schedule three weeks ago.”
“So?”
He moves through the living room. Motions for me to follow.
I do away with my shoes and socks. Follow him into the sand.
It’s dark now. The sky is a deep shade of blue. The stars are shining bright.
Between the quiet roar of the waves, the smell of salt, and the soft breeze, this place is a picture-perfect beach.
“You started reading Atwood books five months ago,” he says.
“I didn’t realize you kept tabs.”
“You couldn’t stop talking about them.”
“Great literature.”
“Since when do you read great literature?” He takes a long sip. “And don’t say Lee Child is literature.”
“It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate a good mystery.”
He rolls his eyes. Not in a dismissive way. In that playful Ty way of his. The way that says you’re so full of shit you’re covered in it. Don’t expect me to buy it. “You kept talking about the woman who recommended them. Her… obsession. Her intellect. Her wit. You were talking about her, weren’t you?”
“If I was?”
“Are you going to tell me you only met her a few weeks ago?”
I say nothing.
He laughs. “You think the poker face works on me? I was there every minute of your divorce. You may have convinced Mum you’re okay, but you’ve never fooled me.”
“I am okay.”
He shakes his head still not buying it. “You don’t look okay. You look… Happy.”
“Jesus, the indignity. I look happy? Thank fuck you’ve told me so I can correct this immediately.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m the ridiculous one?”
“Yes.”
“Not you?” he asks. “Lying to yourself. Trying to sell me this story about how you met three weeks ago and you only want her sweet pussy.”
“Don’t say pussy.”
He chuckles. “You sound like an American. I shouldn’t use—”
“A fifteen-year-old American, maybe.”
“Ah, so more appropriate for your girlfriend.”
“She’s not—”
He shakes his head. “Isn’t she?”
Eve is young, yes, but she’s lived an entire life. She’d be bored to tears by a nineteen-year-old, much less a fifteen-year-old. “It’s complicated.”
“Uh-huh.”
“She has a website. Anonymous. I only read her posts. I only knew she was smart as a whip. Then that she dyed her hair teal. Then that she wore combat boots.”
“And that was it? Lust for combat boots? Something you need to tell me about your time in the military?”
I flip him off.
He chuckles. Motions go on.
“It’s hard to explain without showing you her site. And I’m not showing you.”
“It’s not public?”
“It is. But…” I have no excuse. If I can read it, anyone can. If it’s wrong for him to read it, it’s wrong for me to read it.
But I am avoiding it. I haven’t looked. I want to look. I want it in my bones. But I haven’t.
I don’t bother justifying my desire for secrecy. “She’s sharp. Insightful. Writes all sorts of brilliant things about films, TV, books, society. Then there’s the other half of her site. Her feelings. Almost a journal. Raw. Beautiful. Her heart, laid bare for me. It’s—”
“Of course.”
What the fuck? “What do you mean ‘of course.'”
“It doesn’t take a shrink, Ian. Laura was fucking someone else. Lying to you. Hiding that secret. Hiding everything she wanted. Every feeling that had changed. So now you have this girl willing to—what was it you said? Lay her heart bare? Of course, you’re obsessed.”
Fuck him for being so perceptive. “I wasn’t going to look her up.”
“But you did”
“There was a man at her work. Trying to pay for her virginity.”
He laughs of course. “Fuck, you are trying to take my crown. I’m the dirty pervert here.”
“Since when?”
“Ask Rory.”
“Is that what happened?”
“Part of it.” His gaze shifts to the sky. Still the pale shade of twilight. “She mentioned this guy on her site?”
“Yes.”
“And that was when you looked her up?”
“Yes.”
His expression gets incredulous. “You didn’t know what she looked like?”
I shake my head.
He nods hmmm. “It’s not like you. To choose a woman for her heart and mind.”