Nevaeh jerks back, but I ignore her reaction, focusing on the words I need to speak.
Nevaeh
“I was engaged once. Her name was Kelsi and she was pregnant with my daughter.”
The words swirl around in my brain as I try to make sense of them. Ethan obviously isn’t engaged anymore, and he hasn’t mentioned having a daughter. But then again, what do I really know about him? He’s spent half the time since I met him avoiding me, and the other half getting to know my body.
“You have a daughter?” I blurt out.
“Yes, but…” He clears his throat and grabs ahold of my hips.
Worried he’ll try to push me away, I cover his hands with mine and meet his eyes, trying to convey silently I’m not going anywhere.
He gives me a slight nod then starts talking. “When I was fourteen I fell in love with my best friend. Kelsi Sternum.”
I listen as Ethan tells me a beautiful yet heartbreaking love story about him and Kelsi. They met when they were little and she came from a horrible family. His took her in and loved her like their own.
When he gets to the part about her falling pregnant, his eyes glisten at the memory. He describes how beautiful she was carrying his baby, how she would complain all the time, but he knew she really loved being pregnant. They set up the nursery, and even though they were scared, they were also excited.
When he gets to the part where he shot a man who was coming off drugs, the tears that were trapped fall. “Dad didn’t have valet parking,” Ethan explains. “And security cameras weren’t up yet. Dad and his men searched for days for the guy. He couldn’t have possibly vanished off the face of the earth. They searched the hospitals, asked the cops. Nobody had seen him.”
He goes quiet and swallows thickly, and a shiver runs up my spine, realizing this story isn’t going to end well.
“Kelsi was due in a couple weeks and decided to surprise me at work for lunch. She said once the baby came, quiet lunches would cease to exist.” Ethan takes a deep breath, and I remain quiet, allowing him to tell his story at his own pace.
“I walked her out to her car and kissed her goodbye. I even watched her drive away.” He scrubs his hands over his face. “I was at my desk running some numbers about an hour later when I got a call from the hospital. Kelsi was found on the side of the road in bad shape. According to the guy who called nine-one-one, she was already in that condition when he found her.”
Ethan closes his eyes and a single tear snakes its way down his cheek. Using my thumb, I swipe it up, which has him reopening his eyes and meeting mine. “It was Frank,” he says. “Later, we found him and tortured him until he admitted to it. He ran out in front of her car, and when she slammed on her brakes, he yanked her out of it and beat her then left her there.”
I swallow down my gasp, but my hands go to Ethan’s cheeks, needing to touch him in some way to comfort him. The story isn’t over. If she and the baby survived, he wouldn’t be looking at me like he is right now.
“When I got to the hospital, she wouldn’t see me. The nurse took pity on me and told me she lost the baby… our daughter. Her placenta tore from the beating and she didn’t get to the hospital in time.”
“Oh, Ethan.” I try to keep my own tears at bay, but my heart aches for him and everything he’s lost.
“My mom left my dad that night. Said she couldn’t do it anymore. And then Kelsi left me.” Ethan shifts slightly and lifts his shirt to expose his tattoo. “Never forget. It’s to remind me what I lost because of the decisions I made.”
He drops his shirt and pulls me back into his arms.
“Ethan—” I begin, but he cuts me off.
“No, don’t make excuses for me. She asked me to quit. Told me she was scared. I didn’t choose her all those years ago, and we lost our daughter. I don’t know what’s happening between you and me. I’m feeling shit I haven’t felt since Kelsi…”
Ethan takes a deep breath, and his eyes lock with mine. I can feel a shift in his mood. “I failed her, Angel,” he says, his voice filled with raw emotion. “And I’ll be damned if I fail you too. I might not have been able to keep her and our baby safe, but I will keep you safe.”
“That can’t mean taking another person’s life,” I tell him, understanding where he’s going with this.
“As opposed to you being taken and sold as a sex slave?” Ethan scoffs. “I’m not risking it. I’m not risking you. I choose you,” he says with conviction. “I’ll always choose you.”