When I collapse in bed, I smell her all around me. She spent two days in this bed, and she is everywhere. I turn to the side, and the pain in my chest is worse today. It’s getting worse and worse as the days go by that she isn’t here. She’s texted me twice, and each time, it was to tell me that she was thinking about me. I answered her back that I missed her, but she never answered it.
Turning back over, I put one hand on my chest and another over my head. So much has changed since she left. I want to tell her everything that I’ve done. I let her walk away from me because I didn’t want her to pity me by staying. I let her go because no matter how much I love her, no matter how much I would give to have her, I have to know that she wants me just as much. I close my eyes, and I hear it, the softest knock I’ve ever heard. I sit up in bed, not knowing if I dreamed it or it really happened. I’m about to lie back down when I hear it again, this time just a touch louder. I grab my shorts and walk down the steps. Turning on the lights, I wonder who it could be. Unlocking the door, I pull it open, and my heart stops in my chest. I know that whatever I did or whatever I was going to do, it would be with her by my side.
“Savannah,” I whisper.
“I’m so sorry to wake you.” She stands there, looking shy and uncomfortable. “I can come back, and we can talk in the morning.”
“No,” I say, reaching out and bringing her to me. I can swear the heaviness that was in my chest is now lighter. I take her in my arms, and she wraps her arms around my waist, and I can die a happy man with her in my arms. A tear escapes my eye, and I don’t even know how long we stand here in the middle of my entryway hugging, but one thing I do know is I’m not letting her go.
“I missed you,” she finally says, and I feel the wetness to where her face is. “I missed you so much.” I let her go only to grab her face in my hands, my thumbs rubbing her cheeks.
“You are so beautiful,” I say. “You are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.”
I lean down and take her mouth with mine. Her tongue slides with mine, and when I pick her up, she wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her upstairs.
“We have to talk,” she pants out when I let her go to undress her. “Things have to be said.”
“I know,” I say. “I know.” I kiss her again. “And we will. I just need you.”
When she lies down and I slide into her, I’m home. “I love you,” I whisper in her ear, wrapping my fingers with hers beside her head. “I love you more than life.”
Her legs wrap around my hips. “I love you,” she says. “I love you,” is all either of us can say at this moment. I lose myself in her over and over again, and she does the same. The sun comes up, and we are still wrapped in each other. She lays her head on my chest with the sheet pulled up over us.
“I used to get up every morning,” she says, “and watch the sunrise.” She looks up at me.
“I can’t do this lying down. I need to get up.” She rips the sheet off her and then grabs one of my shirts and puts it on. “Okay, I’m good,” she says, and she takes a huge breath. “I drove to this town about forty minutes away from here.”
“Was it pretty?” I ask, and she smiles so big her whole face lights up.
“It really was,” she tells me. “I had this house right on the beach, and I would get up every morning.” She moves her hands the whole time. “I mean, I didn’t really sleep, but I would grab a cup of coffee and sit on the beach and watch the sky turn from dark to a light pink to a blue. The whole time I did that, I wanted you next to me. I didn’t even care if the neighbors would come out and wave to me before they left for work. Then I spent time walking around the town, and not one person said anything to me. Not one person cared or looked my way, not a sneer, not a leer, and not even any words under their breath. I smiled at a couple of them, and they nodded politely, but that was it.”