I finally look at him, and I wonder if I can hide the hurt. “I’m fine. It’s just been a whirlwind few days.”
“I wish we could get away,” he says, and Cassandra comes running to us.
“People are sitting, and they are waiting for you,” she says. “Also, I’m not sure you approved it, but Savannah has been moved from beside you.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat and listen to him. “I didn’t approve that,” Beau hisses, and I just shake my head.
“It’s fine,” I say. “You need to do your thing.”
“I don’t care,” he says. “You’re my wife.” I want to tell him that we should talk about that, but I’m not sure now is the time to do that. Instead, I try not to make a big deal out of it.
“I already told them to fix it,” Cassandra says. “I don’t know about you, but I’d be pissed if my husband wasn’t sitting next to me.”
“Thank you.” I smile at her. “That means a lot.”
We walk to the seating area, and Beau holds out the chair for me, and I sit down, smiling at the men around the table. The meal is a blur, and I have no idea what is discussed, but when we walk into the house, I don’t say anything to him as I follow him up to the bedroom. He doesn’t even turn on the lights. He unzips my dress and kisses my shoulder, the lone tear comes out of my eye and rolls down my cheek. I make love to him, holding him in my arms as tight as I can, and when I know he’s sleeping, I get up and walk down the stairs to sit on the couch. I go over the speech in my head over and over again, and when I hear his footsteps coming down the stairs, I’m ready for him. “Morning,” he says, coming over to me and leaning down to kiss me. “I am going to go on the record in saying I hate waking up without you.” I wait for him to be in the kitchen before I start.
“We need to talk,” I say, and he turns around to look at me.
“I don’t like the way that sounds,” he says, smiling, and he must see that my face is probably a mess from crying all night long. “Why have you been crying?”
“It’s just been an emotional couple of days,” I say. “I went to the bank yesterday, and they denied me the loan,” I say, and he walks to me. “He was sure to tell me that the mayor’s office stands behind his decision since you will be buying the land.”
“I have no idea why he said that. I haven’t even had any discussion with anyone about it,” he says.
“It doesn’t matter, Beau,” I say. “This”—I point at him and me—“was just to keep me safe.”
“What are you talking about?” he says now, his voice going louder.
“I heard you,” I say, and he just looks at me. “I heard you yesterday with your mother.”
“Good,” he says.
“I heard you tell her that you did it to keep me safe,” I say, and he nods his head.
“Yeah, I did after I told her that I married you for love, and she laughed at me,” he says. “You didn’t hear the whole conversation, Savannah.”
“It doesn’t matter that I love you or that you love me,” I say. “It’s just too much.”
“What is too much?” he asks.
“I stood in the room yesterday, looking around, and I felt like an imposter.” I wipe away my tears. “I didn’t belong there. I don’t even belong here.” I open my arms. “This town has shown me over and over again how I don’t belong nor am I wanted here.”
“But I want you here,” he says, taking a step toward me, but I hold up my hand to stop him.
“I stayed this whole time because I wanted to show the town I could be someone else. I stayed for my bar, which I don’t have anymore. It’s time for me to move on.”
“But what about me?” he asks, and if I was a strong enough person, I would ask him to come with me. If I thought for one minute I deserved his love, I would beg him to come.
“What about me?” I ask. “What about me walking out of my house without having people leer at me? What about going into the supermarket and hearing home wrecker at least once?” I let the tears fall. “What about being treated like I am the scum of the earth? What about that? I have a chance to walk away and start fresh.” I shake my head and sit down. “I have a chance to walk out of my house and look around and smile at my neighbors. I have the chance to just be the new person in town that doesn’t have so much baggage with her that I’m buried up to my knees. I have the chance to not be known as the town whore who forced Beau to marry her.”