“Mom!” Ethan yells for her to come and get her pizza.
“We should get in there,” I say to her, and she nods. “I don’t think anyone would eat your pizza, but the meat lovers one …” She throws her head back and winces, putting one hand on her neck.
“That pizza is awesome, and you know it.” She smiles, and my whole chest feels like it’s going to expand. She walks away from me and stops, then turns back. “I’m sorry I’m dragging you into this mess.” The smile is now gone from her face. “I’m sorry that my nightmare has just become yours, too.” She walks out, and I answer her again under my breath.
“Your nightmare is my dream come true.” I stand here in the living room that she picked out. She doesn’t even realize that this whole house is everything she’s picked out. I wanted her to have her dream home. I wanted to give her that, and now I’m going to have my chance.
“Hey,” Jacob says, coming into the room. “Are you coming?”
“She thinks marrying her is a nightmare,” I say, my chest getting tight again.
“You need to tell her how you feel,” Jacob says, grabbing my shoulder with his hand and squeezing it. “Take it from me. The minute you say the words to her, this whole weight will be lifted off you.”
I shake my head. “You heard her. Marrying me is her nightmare.”
“That’s because she doesn’t know how you feel,” he says, and I just look down. “You have to tell her.” He turns and walks out of the room, and I follow him this time. I try to get involved with the chatter around the table, but the only thing that I can think of is what I blurted out.
Jacob and Kallie leave as soon as the apple pie is eaten. “Come on, buddy,” I tell Ethan. “I’ll set the shower for you so Mom can rest.” He nods and walks toward the stairs. “Do you want me to carry you upstairs?”
“No,” she says, “I can walk.” I wait for her and walk up the stairs with her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“You know that I’ve helped him shower before,” I remind her. “Four nights a week.”
“Yeah, I know. Cool Uncle Beau lets me set my own water.” She mimics Ethan. “Cool Uncle Beau doesn’t stand in the bathroom and make sure I’m okay.”
I laugh now. “Go lie down.” Turning, I walk to the bathroom and hear the water running, so I stick my head in. “You okay?”
“Yeah, Uncle Beau,” he says, so I turn to go and get his bed ready. Another thing that I did was make a room for him at my house. For the times that I would watch him while Savannah was at work or Jacob was working overnight and Cristine, Jacob’s mom, couldn’t watch him. I grab a pair of pjs that he left here the last time and walk back to the shower. “Buddy, I put your pjs here for you.” I lay them on the counter. “Remember to brush your teeth.”
“Okay, Uncle Beau,” he says and opens the door. “Do you have any of your body wash?” he asks, and I look at him. “This is bubble gum, and I’m a growing boy.” I roll my lips and nod at him.
“I’ll get you some,” I say, shaking my head and walking to my bathroom to get him mine. I don’t see her standing there when I walk out of my bedroom. “Are you okay?”
“What are you doing?” she asks, pointing at the soap in my hand.
“Well, Ethan is a growing boy,” I say. “And he doesn’t want bubble gum soap anymore.”
“So he asked you for yours?” She smiles, and I see tears in her eyes. “He really loves you.”
“Well, I love him just as much,” I say.
“If things turn bad between us.” She wipes a tear away, and I walk to her. “He …”
“He will never lose me,” I say. “Never. Neither of you will ever lose me.”
“Okay,” she whispers, and my heart speeds up faster and faster.
I look at her. “Okay?” My voice almost cracks.
She looks down at the floor, and I can tell that she’s nervous because she is wringing her hands, and her voice comes out almost in a whisper. “I’ll marry you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Savannah
I don’t even know I’m saying the words even though they are coming out of my mouth. Marry him. “I’ll marry you,” I repeat it again so I can hear it again. His eyes open wide as if he’s in shock that I would agree to marry him. When he doesn’t say anything, my heart starts to speed up and my legs start to shake. Maybe he changed his mind. “I mean, if the offer is still on the table,” I say nervously while I wring my hands in front of me.