“Jacob, please,” I beg, and he grabs my hand, turning and walking to the kitchen where he turns off all the lights except for the light on the stove and then walks to his bedroom. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I think we are thinking too much, and we should get into bed.” He tosses my things down on the bench in front of the bed. “How is this? I will set the alarm for six thirty.” I fold my arms over my chest. “Okay, fine, six because I want to get some loving before Ethan gets up at seven.”
“Oh, no way, mister,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s one thing for me to sleep here but something else entirely for us to have sex here with your son five feet away from us.” I point at the door. “This is not even an option.”
“Let’s play it by ear.” He winks at me, and I just roll my eyes. “Do you want to shower first, or should we?”
“I’m not even going to give you an answer to that question,” I say, and he goes to the bag and takes all my stuff with him. “What are you doing?”
“I’m not leaving your stuff out in the open where you can run.” He laughs. “Just be happy I’m not cuffing you to the bed.” The door closes behind him, and I sit on the bed to wait for him to get out of the shower. He walks out with a towel around his waist and shirtless, and I don’t even think I can stick by my no sex with Ethan in the house. “Your turn,” he says, and I get up, but he stops me and kisses me. My hand goes to his tattoo of Gabriel’s footprint. I lean forward and kiss the scab. “Love you, Kallie,” he says, and I just nod at him, then go to the shower.
When I finally finish in the bathroom, I’m expecting to find him in bed waiting for me, but what I find is him in bed snoring softly. I walk to the bed and turn off the light, sliding in with him. He must feel me get into the bed because his hands reach out and pull me to him. “Night, baby,” he mumbles, and even though I want to hold out, I follow him into sleep.
It’s crazy how easy we get into a routine of waking up at six with a soft alarm, and even though I held out the first day with no sex, it’s a losing battle the next day when he wakes me with his mouth between my legs. I cover my mouth when I come on his face, and when he flips me over and slides into me from behind, I bury my face into the pillow. By the time the seven o’clock alarm rings for Ethan, we are showered and sitting at the island while I drink coffee, and he reads his emails. I help Jacob prepare lunch for Ethan and clean up, getting into the car at the same time. I make dinner for us while he does homework with Ethan.
“Kallie.” Ethan calls my name while I’m frying chicken steak.
“Yeah, buddy?” I look over at him.
“Will you be at my game tomorrow?” he asks. I know he has a game because it’s all he was talking about.
“Of course she’s going to be there,” Jacob says from beside me now.
“Cool. Maybe we can all go for ice cream after,” he says and looks down at his homework.
“Um,” Jacob says from beside me, and I shake my head, not wanting Ethan to sense anything.
Dinner is normal, but my nerves are setting in. When I get up to clean up in the middle of dinner, Jacob looks up at me and continues to eat, and luckily, Ethan doesn’t sense anything.
After dinner, it’s the same routine except I don’t wait on the couch for him. Instead, I take a shower, and when I get out, he’s waiting for me on the bed. “What’s the matter?”
“Is Ethan asleep?” I ask, and he nods. “I’m not sure how I fit in with all this.” I say the truth. “I know how I fit in here.” I use my finger in a circle. “I know where I fit in this”—I point at him and me—“but out there, I don’t know how I fit in.”
“Kallie,” he says, not coming to me, “there is nothing to doubt when it comes to me and you. In here or out there. I want you beside me every single day, for every single event.” He walks to me now. “I never want you to doubt us ever. Never again.” He grabs my face, and I put my hands on his.
“People are already talking,” I say. “My mother has been fielding calls and when she went out the other day, she got stopped and—”