“But …” I lose it and slap my hand on the counter. I look to see if Ethan is in the room.
“Mom, enough,” I hiss. “But nothing. Kallie is the one. She’s always been the one. She will always be the one.”
“I can’t forgive her for leaving you,” she says and looks down. “I won’t.”
“Then that’s too bad,” I say, “because I’m hoping like fuck Charlotte can forgive me for fathering a child that wasn’t her daughter’s.” She gasps. “Now, are you staying for breakfast or not?”
“I think I am going to leave you and Ethan,” my mother says. “I think you have a lot to talk about. But,” she says softly, “just remember that he has a mother and doesn’t need a stand-in.” She turns on her heels and walks out, and I make a mental note that we are definitely going to have more words.
“Where is Grandma?” Ethan comes into the room with his basket of dirty clothes.
“She had to take off,” I say and start to make breakfast while he carries his clothes to the laundry room.
“Can I watch television?” He looks at me, and I nod while I make him pancakes, bacon, and eggs. He turns off the television and comes to the island when I call him to come eat. He gets on the stool and looks over at me. “Did you and Grandma have a fight?”
“Why do you say that?” Wondering if he heard what we were arguing about, I look over at him.
“I heard her yell, and then she left.” He chews a piece of pancake. “Who was that girl?”
“Grandma and I were just talking,” I say, “and that girl was Kallie.”
He looks at me. “Kallie and I were best friends when we were in high school.”
“Like you and Mom and Uncle Beau?” he asks.
“She was actually my girlfriend,” I say, and he looks at me and then takes another bite of his food. No doubt he’s processing everything. He’s always been like that.
“Where has she been?” I look over at him.
“She left for school, and she just came back,” I say. “You know Casey, right?”
“Is that the cowboy?” he asks with his eyes big. “He’s so cool. Last year at the county fair, he lasted the longest on the bull.” I roll my eyes.
“He isn’t that cool,” I say, and he laughs. “But yes, that is her brother.”
“Cool,” he says again, picking up his eggs and then looking at me. “Are you going to start dating her again?”
I think about how to answer this. I don’t want to lie to my son, but I also want to be honest with him because if I get my way, she is going to be here a lot more. “I hope so.”
“Buy her candy,” he says with a smile. “Lollipops for sure.”
“Is that so?” I smirk at him, and he nods his head.
“I brought Alexis one, and she held my hand the whole recess,” he says. “But it made my hand all sweaty and gross, so I am not going to do that again.” I throw my head back and laugh. I lean over and kiss his head, and I think of our son and only then do I realize they would be the same age. Tears spring to my eyes, and I blink them away but not before he sees them. “You don’t have to hold her hand if you don’t want to.”
“I want to hold her hand,” I say, “and I want her to come over for dinners, and I want you to meet her.”
“She’s pretty,” he says, finishing his last piece of pancake. “We should invite her for movie night.”
“That is a great idea,” I say and get up, grabbing our plates and rinsing them off. “Now go get your homework so we can get that over with.”
He grumbles and groans while he walks to the back room when the doorbell rings. Turning the water off, I walk to the door and see it’s Savannah. I unlock the door, and she smiles at me when I step to the side to let her come in. “Hey,” she says softly, “is Ethan here?”
“He is,” I say, shutting the door behind her and looking at her. She looks like she hasn’t slept, and you can see that she has been crying. “Is everything okay?”
“You tell me, Jacob.” She stands there. “Is everything going to be okay?”
“If you’re asking me if Kallie is going to tell anyone, the answer is no,” I say. I didn’t actually tell her not to, but I’m assuming she knows that the secret is just ours. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“Wouldn’t she?” Savannah says. “She doesn’t know what it’s like being pregnant and alone.”
I’m about to snap when Ethan comes in the room, and Savannah sees the glare on my face. “Mom,” he says, hugging her waist, “what are you doing here?”