* * *
When I slip out of the truck at my grandparents’ house, I look around to see if she is there, but I don’t spot her anywhere. I walk in and spot Chelsea with Amelia right next to her. “Why does this look like trouble?” I say, and they both look down. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” Amelia says, trying to hide her smile.
“Absolutely nothing,” Chelsea says, and they turn to walk away. I say hello to my grandparents and then go in search of the person I have next on my list to talk to.
I see her right away, laughing with Olivia. I walk up to them and smile at them. “You girls look like Chelsea and Amelia planning something.” It makes them laugh even more. “I was wondering if we could talk,” I tell Kallie, who just looks at me. “It’s fine if you don’t want to.”
“Of course.” She gets up and puts her arm around my waist. “Anything for my boy.” I put my arm around her, and we walk away from the noise of kids running and adults talking. “This is nice,” she says, hugging me closer to her.
“It is,” I say. “I never got to thank you.” My arm brings her close to me.
“Thank me?” she asks.
“From the moment you met me, you loved me unconditionally,” I say as we near the fence all the way at the end of the property.
“It was love at first sight,” she says, and I look at her, her blond hair blowing in the light wind. “You know that, right?”
“I do,” I say. “I’m sorry for leaving.” My voice comes out softly. “The way I left especially. You …” I look down. “You were the one most hurt when I was born. You gave up everything for me, and then when you came back, you just loved me with no more questions asked.”
“I loved you because you were an amazing young boy,” she says, wiping tears away from her eyes. “I also loved you because you were a part of your father, and I loved him with everything.”
“How could you?” I ask. “How could you love me when I hurt you so much?”
“You didn’t hurt me,” she tells me and then grabs my face. “Your father did what he needed to do for you, and I accepted that. Your father would have walked through the eye of the storm for you.” The tears slip off her chin. “He’s not the same man he was.” She shocks me. “He pretends he is, but a piece of him is missing. He still sets the table with an extra plate. He still buys you presents on your birthday and Christmas.”
“What?” I ask, shocked.
“Losing Gabriel was hard for him. He mourned the little boy who he created, but losing you, losing you …” Her bottom lip quivered. “He lost the boy he loved from when you were first placed in his arms. He lost the boy he taught things to, he lost the boy he raised, he lost the man who he helped you become. You can say that he isn’t your father, but we both know that isn’t true. Just as you can’t tell me I’m not your mother. I may not have birthed you, and I may not have held you the first day, but I was the one who used to read you bedtime stories. I was the one who drove you to your practices and held your hand when you were scared. I was the one who waited with bated breath at your rodeos. I was the one who punished you when you snuck out all those times, and I was the one who looked away most times.” She winks at me. “To me, that means more to me than what blood runs through you. I ran away once.” She swallows. “So I know how you feel. I thought the whole world was against me. I pretended I was okay every single day for eight years. I even convinced myself I was okay until I stepped back into town, and I knew I wasn’t okay. You had to run away, and I get it. If anyone can understand it, it’s me.”
“I was never going to come back,” I say, and she smiles.
“Well, whatever brought you back, there had to be a reason,” she tells me. “It’s what you do going forward that will speak volumes.”
“I’m staying,” I say, and she crosses her hands over her chest. “For good.”
“You are going to make a lot of people very happy.” She hugs me now around my waist and places her head on my chest. “You need to talk to him.”
“I know,” I say. “I do. It’s just …”
“You’ll know when it’s time. I love you, Ethan, the boy you were, the man you were, and the man you are now,” she tells me. “Now why don’t we get back there before they send out a search party for us.” As we walk back to the barbecue, I know I can scratch another name off my list.