“I did,” I agree with her. “I fucked up big time, and I know I have to make it up to you.” She just listens to me. “Leaving wasn’t the best decision I ever made, but it’s a decision that I had to make for me even though that sounds selfish.”
“Oh, it’s selfish.” She agrees with that part.
“I need you to tell me why you are so mad at me,” I ask. It’s better to come straight out with it instead of beating around the bush. “I can’t make it better if I don’t know how you feel.” I smirk at her. “I get you hate me and want to kick me in the balls, but you need to tell me why.”
“You left us.” She starts off, her voice low. “Forget the pain you caused Mom, which was a dick move, by the way.” She glares at me. “But you just took off on us.” Her voice goes soft when she says the next words. “On me.”
I swallow the lump that has started to form. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Yeah.” She wipes away a tear. “But you did. You were supposed to always be there for me. You were supposed to fight off the boys when they called me. You were supposed to scare away my dates when they came to pick me up. You were supposed to be there.” She looks down. “But you weren’t.”
Looking at her, I go one step at a time. “One, you’re dating?” I ask, shocked.
“Seriously, Ethan. From all that I just told you, that’s the only thing you picked up on?” she huffs out, and I see a little smile.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that.” Smiling, I get up and go over to her side of the table. I put my arm around her and bring her to me. “I’m sorry, squirt,” I say, and she turns her head and buries her face in my shoulder. She is trying so hard not to cry, but it’s getting the better of her. “I’m back now, and I’m going to make it up to you.” She cries out now. “No more dating. No more talking to boys. There will be none of that bull. In fact, I think I saw something about nun school.” She laughs between her tears.
“I am not going to nun school,” she tells me and wipes her tears. “How long are you staying?”
“For good,” I say, and she looks at me almost in surprise and shock, her mouth hanging open.
“Does Mom know?” she asks, and I shake my head. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Eventually,” I answer her.
“You hurt her really badly when you left,” she says. “And she is going to deny it if you ask. But …” She looks down. “It took her a month to get out of bed. I thought Dad was going to go bald from pulling at his hair. He was helpless. There was nothing he could do. Nothing none of us could do.” The words hurt, and she doesn’t say anything else. No more words need to be said. I know that I have bridges to mend, and I have to earn everyone’s trust back. When I get up from the table, I hold out my hand, and she takes it.
We walk back to the truck, both of us looking down at the road. “So are you really dating boys?” I glance over at her and smile.
“I mean, not a lot of boys.” She smiles shyly. “But I am going to senior prom with someone.”
“How are you a senior?” I ask, and she just shrugs. “I don’t like this one little bit.” I put my hands on my hips.
“Well, then you shouldn’t have left.” She winks at me with a smile, getting in the truck, and for the first time since I stepped foot in town, I have just a sliver of hope.
When I pull up to the house, I see that there are no cars there. “Do you want to come in?” she asks as she reaches for the handle.
“No,” I tell her, not sure yet if I can do the whole family dinner. I know I told her that I’m back for good, but I think it’s good to go slow. I haven’t had the talk with Beau yet, and until then, I’m going to stay clear. “I’m going to head home. Get on the treadmill, work off the ice cream.”
She gets out of the car laughing. “Say hi to Mom for me, will you?”
“Will do,” she says. I watch her walk into the house, only leaving when she closes the door behind her. When I get to the house, I’m shocked to see my mother sitting on one of the chairs outside. She smiles at me when I pull up. My heart speeds up when I get out of the truck and walk to the front door.