She rolls her eyes. “He’ll get over it. All you have to do is call him.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t see the look in his eyes. I think I blew it.”
Ellie hugs me tight. “No, you didn’t. Trust me, Soph. He’s not going to let you go when he’s spent his whole life pining over you. He’d be an outright fool if he did.”
She let me go and I went straight to my phone. I have to tell Tanner I’m sorry. My fingers couldn’t click on his name fast enough. Heart racing, I listen to the phone ring and ring and ring until his voicemail picks up. The pain in my chest grows worse.
“He didn’t answer,” I say, pulling the phone away from my ear.
Ellie nods at it. “Call him again. And again, if you have to. I’ll even do it.” She pulls out her phone and calls him, but he dismisses her too. “He better not be blowing me off,” she says with a huff.
I call him one more time and nothing. Instead of it ringing, it goes directly to voicemail. That either means he’s ignoring me, or his phone is dead. I really hope for the latter. Feeling deflated, I flop down on the couch.
Ellie sits beside me and sighs. “It’ll be okay. Why don’t you call again and leave a message? That way, you can at least tell him how you feel.” She pushes me off the couch and smiles. “I’ll be here watching TV when you get done. We can have a girl’s day.”
That makes me smile. “I’ll be right back.” I leave her in the living room and head straight to my bedroom for privacy. Tanner doesn’t answer when I call again. My heart races as I wait for the beep. Beep. “Hey Tanner, it’s me.” I blow out a sigh. “I don’t know where to start. Guess I should begin by saying I’m sorry. I never should’ve left the way I did, and I never should’ve been scared to tell you how I really feel. I’m assuming you’re ignoring me right now and that’s fine. I get it. Truth is, I care about you, Tanner. Last night was amazing. You make me feel things I never thought possible. I don’t want to let that go. If you would, please call me back. I want this to work.”
10
Tanner
There is nothing like the feel of warm sand between your toes, the sound of the ocean crashing toward the shore, and the way the sun basks over your body. This is my happy place and I’m pissed I don’t have my surfboard. After sitting in the sand for an hour, I trudge my way over to the surf shop. I get a few looks from the women lingering around, some in their bikini’s even though the temperature is barely above seventy, others are dressed in long, over-sized sweatshirts, which is more my style.
I hand the surfer dude my credit card and wait for him to give me the paperwork I need to fill out. He’s more entertained by the women hanging around his hut than making a sale, but whatever. I get it. The kid is young, likely in college, and has that shaggy California look about him. I honestly thought I had seen the last of it when I moved back home. The kid tells me to pick my board and mumbles something in surfer slang, which I don’t really get. I never embraced the lingo as part of my life. I’ve always used surfing to destress.
With the board by my side, I stand there, looking out over the surf. I’m not dressed for this, but whatever. I throw the board down and straddle it, staying in the shallow end. What I’m about to do could be dangerous without a wetsuit on. The water is still cold and if I were to wipe out, I have nothing protecting me. I decide to wade, letting the waves push me in and out. It’s whatever, because my mind is stuck on the bullshit with Sophie. I thought for sure after last night, every dream I’ve ever had about her was going to come true. She was finally going to open her eyes and see what and who was in front of her, ready to love her for her. Instead, she put up a fucking cinderblock wall and took my sledgehammer away, preventing me from smashing down the walls to get to her. Some of it I get. Her douchebag ex cheated on her, hurt her. It’s not something I would ever do. The whole “your sister is my best friend” thing I don’t get though. Shouldn’t this make our relationship stronger? Give us a goal to make things always work so Ellie isn’t some middle person in our relationship? Not according to Sophie. Makes me wish I hadn’t wined and dined her or slept with her, although deep down I know those feelings are only masking the fact that I’m desperately in love with her.