He sighed into the phone. “Like I said, it’s not about her. It’s just… I don’t see a lot of good in the world.”
“You don’t think I’m good?”
“I never said you weren’t. But I really don’t know you that well. We’ve only known each other for two months—and I haven’t seen you much in the last few weeks.”
“Then get to know me, Slate. I’m not asking for marriage or your pin number.”
He chuckled. “I know.”
“I’m not asking for anything…just for you to try.”
“Even that is difficult for me. I’ve already let you in so much.”
“Then keep going.”
“Easier said than done.”
I couldn’t keep talking him into this. I couldn’t entertain these late-night phone calls. “Slate, if that’s your final decision, you have to stop calling me. I’m not yours to call. I’m going to keep seeing Wyatt…and soon, I’m going to start sleeping with him. Once that happens, I can’t keep up this weird relationship with you. It would be deceitful.”
He moaned into the phone like he was in pain. “I don’t want to picture you with him…”
“Then don’t. But it’ll be a reality.”
“That’s even worse.”
“Well, that’s something you’ll have to live with.”
He turned quiet, his somber mood heavy over the line. “I’ll let you go to sleep, sweetheart. Good night.”
Just like the last time he rejected me, it hurt like hell. I didn’t even bother saying goodnight before I hung up.
21
Slate
I sat at my desk and stared out the window to the city beyond.
My brother was getting married next week—and I’d never been more confused.
Monroe was out there, dating billionaire Wyatt Newton. He was just as rich as me, just as handsome, and he understood just how special she was. In a short amount of time, he would win over her affection—and fuck her.
That would kill me.
I wasn’t just obsessed with Monroe because of her incredible pussy. I loved everything about her, from the freckles on her cheeks, to her full lips, to the way she laughed. I loved the way she licked her wine away when a drop came loose. I loved the way she pardoned me for my sins and saw me as a good man underneath. I also loved her purity—the fact that only I had fucked her.
The second someone else had her, I would lose a piece of her.
I didn’t want that to happen.
But I couldn’t give her what she asked.
So how did I accomplish both? How did I get her under my thumb without making a commitment I couldn’t keep?
I stared out the window for twenty minutes until it came to me.
The perfect idea.
I showed up at her apartment after work, hoping that asshole wouldn’t already be there. I knocked on the door and waited. Once I heard the sound of her footsteps, I held my breath and waited. She would see my face in the peephole, and she would probably be annoyed I wasn’t staying away from her.
She opened the door, wearing dark jeans and a white blouse that tied in front of her waist. She had red lipstick painted across her lips, thick mascara, and sexy eye shadow. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup, but when she did, she was even more stunning. “Slate, what did we just—”
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
She hesitated before she opened the door.
I stepped inside her cramped living room and finally felt some privacy once the door was shut.
She crossed her arms and looked at me, already disappointed by what I would say.
“I want to offer you something. It’s the best compromise I can come up with.”
“A compromise?” she asked. “I’m listening.”
“You still have a $450,000 loan hanging over your head. Not only will you be paying that for the rest of your life, but you’re going to have $2,000 plucked out of your bank account every month.”
“Thank you for reminding me…”
“I’ll pay it off for you—in exchange for something.”
Her eyebrow cocked, and she looked offended rather than pleased.
“You. I want you for three months. And I’ll wipe out your debt.”
“You do realize that officially makes me a prostitute.”
“I don’t see it that way.” I saw it as a way to keep her for a little longer, to get her out of my system so letting her go would be easier. “In addition, that also gives me time to try to be what you want. A test run.”
She didn’t reject it right away, but she didn’t seem happy either. “So you’re going to pay me for sex?”
“Not just sex. But you.”
“Same thing.”
“And I said I’m willing to try to be something more. We’ll be monogamous. We’ll do the dates and the relationship…and if I can’t see it happening in three months…that’ll be the end.”
“And my heart will be broken into a million pieces.”
So would mine. “That’s the best offer I can give you. You’re risking your heart, but at least you’ll be out of debt for good.”