My voice emerged, quiet. “It’s not true. You did mean something to me. You do mean something to me.”
“Really?” she asked, still suspicious. “So you’re telling me that your sudden reappearance has nothing to do with Wyatt? He’s been all over the news since he started dating me. I know you don’t care for gossip, but I’m sure you heard about it.”
I wanted to lie, but I knew I couldn’t. “Yeah…I did hear about it.”
She shook her head slightly. “That’s the only reason you’re here, isn’t it?” Disapproval was heavy in her voice, like she was borderline disgusted with me. “I told you I wouldn’t wait around for you.”
“Yeah…I can see that.”
“You’re jealous. And I’m sure I would be jealous too if I had to hear about all your new conquests…”
Conquests that hadn’t been made. “You’re the last woman I slept with.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Would I lie?” She could call me an asshole all she wanted, but I was definitely no liar.
She didn’t challenge me again.
“Have you slept with him?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to answer you.”
That made my stomach tighten in painful knots.
“So, what do you want, Slate? To apologize for being an asshole? You’ve done that, so we can wrap this up and go our separate ways.”
If I walked out of there, I would just be a memory to her. The second Wyatt spotted me, he only wanted her more. Now another powerful man wanted her, and it only made her more desirable. Letting her go was my biggest mistake. “That’s not the only reason I’m here.”
“Then what is it? I have to get back to work soon.”
I had no idea what I wanted. I had no idea where this was going to go. All I knew was I didn’t want her to be with Wyatt—or anyone else for that matter. “I can’t explain how angry I was when I saw you with Wyatt. It was like…someone reached inside my chest and yanked out my heart. I was jealous…I was livid…I was a million things. I tried to forget about it, but then I found myself looking up Wyatt all the time, wondering if you two were still dating. It started to suffocate me…kill me.” That was the most honest I’d been in a long time. I didn’t even know how I felt until I started talking out loud. “I didn’t expect you to be with someone so soon, especially someone so similar to me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since…” I stared into her eyes and hoped I would see some sympathy.
She gave it to me—but only a little bit. “If I saw you with someone else, it would bother me too.”
“It doesn’t bother me. It kills me.” It was worse than what Simone did to me. I couldn’t stop picturing them together.
“What does that mean, Slate?”
I didn’t have an answer.
“Do you want to be with me?”
I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t want her to end up with someone else, not when it hurt me this much, but I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. I didn’t know how to trust someone enough to even try. “I don’t know…”
She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know? So, you don’t want to be with me, but you don’t want me to be with Wyatt? You do realize that makes you the biggest asshole on the planet, right?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Then explain it to me.” She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side.
I should have come here with a better plan. I shouldn’t have acted off my emotions so radically. I didn’t want her to be with Wyatt, but I had nothing to offer her in return. “You know relationships are hard for me.”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
“So you can’t expect me to give that to you.”
“Then what do you expect me to do?” she asked incredulously. “Put my life on hold while you figure out what you want? Not gonna happen, Slate. Wyatt is a nice guy, and we have a lot in common.”
“But you still want me.” She hadn’t shown it because she’d been so angry this entire time, but she had to still feel something for me. If not, she wouldn’t be so angry. That rage came from somewhere—pain.
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll move on.”
I felt my heart tighten in agony. “Sweetheart—”
“I told you not to call me that. We aren’t together anymore…not sure if we ever were.”
She’d only slept in my bed once, but she’d been the only woman in my life for the past six weeks.
“I don’t think you really want me, Slate. I just think you can’t stand the fact that you didn’t ruin me. I bounced back and found someone else. I didn’t cry over you and wait around. Now I’m seeing a man who’s just as handsome, charming, and successful. You can’t stand it.”