He looked away, considering what he would say next. “Do you live here?”
“Temporarily. I’m changing apartments right now.”
He nodded slowly. “I was hoping you guys were living together. My brother hasn’t had a relationship with anyone in…forever.”
“Yes…he’s very picky.” And he didn’t even have a relationship with me. There was this invisible shadow of distance between us, something Slate needed to feel secure. But that distance wasn’t really there, not when we spent all of our free time together. He wanted me to get an apartment, but I thought that was only because he enjoyed having me around too much. He felt something for me—but he was still scared.
“He’s just been hurt…” Coen didn’t admit he was the culprit of that pain, but the guilty look on his face was admission enough.
I wondered if Simone had told him about Slate’s cherry fetish. I suspected she didn’t because Coen probably would have mentioned it by now. “I know he has. He has a pretty cold exterior, but his heart is alive and well. He wouldn’t be so good to you if he really didn’t believe in love anymore.”
He continued to wear that guilty expression like it was a part of his permanent facial features. It’d been there since he came to the apartment, and it didn’t seem like it was disappearing anytime soon. “Does he love you?”
That was a personal question. “We haven’t been seeing each other very long…”
“It’s been a few months, right?”
“Almost two.”
“And you’re living with him.”
“That’s only because I’m in the middle of moving.”
He nodded slightly. “Well, he seems really happy with you.”
“And I’m happy with him…”
“I haven’t even seen my brother with someone in…” He shook his head again. “I don’t think I ever have, actually.” He stripped off his jacket then hung it over his arm. He wasn’t as thick as Slate, but he was built with solid muscle. He had good looks and a nice smile, and it was a shame Simone hadn’t appreciated him.
Hadn’t appreciated either one of them.
“Your brother isn’t really a monogamous guy.”
“He is with you.”
If only he understood why.
“I can tell you’re nothing like Simone. I can tell you like my brother for him.”
I did like Slate for who he was, but I didn’t know how Coen could have figured that out.
He answered my unspoken question. “Simone truly opened my eyes to reality. Now I see all the warning signs I ignored. And I see a real relationship between two people who actually trust and respect each other. Simone and I never had that. I was just a stepping stone on her way to the lottery.” He tossed his coat on the couch with a sigh. “The worst part is, Slate tried to warn me, and I accused him of being jealous of Simone…” He rolled his eyes. “I was such a douchebag.” He took a seat on one of the couches.
“Yeah…you kinda were.”
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile, and this time, it was genuine. He released a quiet chuckle under his breath. “I deserved that.”
I took the seat beside him.
“You know, the only reason I agreed to stay here is to spend some time with him. I could stay at the hotel or rent a place somewhere else. But I thought I could use the opportunity to talk to him. We haven’t really talked…in a long time.”
It was nice to know he did still care for his brother. “Why didn’t you try to be close to him when you were with Simone?”
He brought his hands together as he considered his response. “It was just so awkward when everything came out. Slate was pissed off and wouldn’t talk to me. I kept trying to make amends, but he refused to see me. I eventually gave up, and we continued this tense existence that we have to this day. Simone told me he never treated her right and he used to talk shit about me… I should have known that was a lie.”
“Slate would never treat a woman poorly. And I think he’s proven his loyalty to you…a million times over.”
“I know he has. The question is…will he forgive me?” He turned to me like he expected me to give an answer.
“I really don’t know, Coen. Even after all these years, it still bothers him. Your betrayal has haunted him for a long time…in a way I can’t share with you. It shook his entire foundation, his belief in people and relationships. Even now when I’m with him, I still feel his hollow shell because he tries so hard not to feel anything. He’s constantly trying to keep his walls up, even after a few come falling down. Then he builds them back up again.”
He rubbed his hands together as he stared at them. “Maybe it’s impossible to come back from that.”