Not to imagine holding her down as you fucked her mouth.
In case that wasn’t enough to set me straight, I had the reminder of a guy on our team from last year, AJ Prince. He’d filmed himself having sex with two girls and spanking one. His dad, like mine, had worked for the government, and the scandal had rocked their family. The fear of being different and having it exploited and ruining my father’s career as a senator added to the layers of stress and made me feel even worse for the things I desired.
A car door slammed, pulling me from my thoughts. Thank God.
I rolled out of bed and checked out the window to see Ana and her mom making their way inside. Before they reached the door, part of their conversation reached up to me.
“Your dad called and said you haven’t been available for him to talk to,” her mom said.
“I’m not available on his schedule. Maybe he should try to make time for me,” Ana responded before flinging the glass door open and stomping out of site. She didn’t talk much about her dad, but I knew it was an issue for her. I hated seeing her upset. I snatched my phone off the nightstand and fired off a message.
Me: Come over.
It blew my mind how quickly she’d become such a close friend. Hell, I think I even considered her my best friend, which was crazy since I’d known some of my friends since I was five. But with Ana there were zero expectations of who I should be. It was just us and I could be just me. Even at school, where she meshed perfectly with everyone, when someone would tell a lame joke that everyone else thought was hilarious, I would be able to catch her eye and we’d roll our eyes like we had a secret no one else knew.
Somehow, she’d moved into the best friend category without pissing off Gwen, mainly because Ana was an all-around, low-key, friendly person and it was hard to not like her. She had made friends with Gwen just as fast. Even though Gwen didn’t know how much we talked at night or hung out after school. But it wasn’t like I would tell Gwen how often I hung out with my other friends, so it didn’t matter. Ana and I were just friends.
It made it easy that she lived right next door. Even when we couldn’t get together to talk, we would hop on Instant Messenger and chat with our blinds pulled up so we could still see each other. Sometimes I would look over when I got home from practice and find her dancing with her headphones on.
I loved when it took her a while to notice I was there. She moved so gracefully, I could watch her for hours. Usually when she caught on to the fact that she had a peeping Tom, she’d move on to the sprinkler, lawn mower, moon walk, and other crazy dance moves just to make me laugh.
We always ended up in my house because I had the wrap-around porch, with the roof right outside my window that made it easy to sneak over without using the front door. My parents never asked why I’d rearranged the patio furniture and put the higher table under my window. Ana would use her long limbs to climb up and we would sit on the roof staring up at the stars.
My phone dinged.
Ana: K
I pushed out my screen and made my way onto the roof. It was maybe ten minutes before I heard a low thump as she climbed onto the table. I reached down to give her a tug, helping her up the rest of the way. She could make it on her own, but I liked how it felt to take care of her.
We didn’t say anything as we both stretched out and stared at the small spattering of clouds blowing across the sky. I didn’t know if she would ever break the silence. Some nights we’d joke around and laugh quietly. Other nights we would sit in silence, comforted by the other’s presence after a long or bad day. Then there were nights when one of us would need to vent and the other listened, inserting the proper supporting words when needed.
Right then, I think she just wanted to sit in silence. But I wanted her to know I was there for her. She always held back so much when it came to her dad. I wanted to know that part of her too, so I broke the silence, hoping she’d open up to me.
“You don’t talk about your dad much. Even after four months, I barely know anything about him.”
I didn’t look at her, but I heard her heavy sigh. She was quiet for a long minute after I spoke, and I prepared to let it go when she finally started talking.