He gave a slight nod. “I’m glad it made you happy.”
I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes focused on his profile, and I wanted to keep staring, to spend my evening looking at that handsome face, those kissable lips, those chocolate eyes. How had Valerie been married to him without worshiping the ground he walked on? How had she shared her life with him without doing everything to make him happy? How could she have wanted someone else when he was the man in bed beside her? I would never figure it out, never understand it.
He broke the silence, having no idea what I was thinking. “I’m about to make dinner. You want to join me?”
More than anything. “I should take off. I still have a lot of stuff to do. But thank you for inviting me.” I rose out of the chair, knowing I would just go home and find something in the freezer before plopping down on the couch.
He got to his feet too, in his sweatpants and t-shirt.
“I’ll see you later.” I walked to the door.
His footsteps were behind me.
He didn’t usually walk me to the door, but he did today. I turned back around to look at him.
He towered over me, his arms bigger than both of mine put together. He smelled clean, as if he’d taken a shower when he returned from the office, and his cotton clothes smelled fresh, like laundry had just been delivered. His hair was a little messy as if he’d been fingering it, probably anxious before he spoke to Derek on the laptop.
It was one of those times I couldn’t believe he was so handsome and had no clue. I couldn’t believe he didn’t understand that Valerie still wanted him, even now, even after he moved across the country to get away from her. He had no idea that our waitress had wanted to take him home and fuck his brains out. He didn’t see the world that way, didn’t see himself that way. His brilliant mind was focused on other things.
I cleared my throat and forced myself not to be weird. “Is there anything I can do before I go?”
“Tucker’s birthday is in a few weeks.”
“You want me to pick out something for you?”
“Actually, I already have something in mind. VIP seats for the Yankees.”
That was quite the birthday gift. “I can make that happen. I can get you right behind home plate.”
“I don’t want season tickets. I’m just too busy to go.”
“No. A few of my clients have tickets, and they’re too busy to use them. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you used them for the night.”
He slid his hands into his pockets. “I don’t mind paying for them. Not looking for a handout.”
“I know. I’ll let you know what happens. Anything else?”
He shook his head slightly. “No.”
I held his gaze for a few more seconds, wanting to change my mind about his offer and join him in the kitchen. But I forced myself to go, forced myself to behave like his assistant…and nothing more.
Five
Deacon
I sat at my desk in my office, so lost in my paperwork that I skipped lunch. Theresa reminded me a few times but gave up after I consistently ignored her. It wasn’t because I wasn’t hungry. My desire to get this finished was simply stronger.
Then my phone rang.
It was my mother.
I hadn’t talked to her in a while. We spoke after I moved to New York, but then I got busy with my hectic life and didn’t think about her much. I felt guilty about it now. Being a father made me realize how much I could love my son. That was how my mother felt about me…and I took it for granted.
I answered. “Hey, Mom.”
“Oh honey, I’m so happy to hear your voice. I miss you.” After my father was gone, she was more affectionate with us, clinging to us like life rafts. Tucker and I looked a lot like him, especially me.
“I miss you too, Mom.”
“What are you doing right now?”
“At the office.”
“Of course,” she said with a chuckle. “Even when you were five, all you ever wanted to do was work.”
I didn’t call it work. Work was something people did for a paycheck. I did this because I wanted to. “How are you?”
“Very lonely over here. Sometimes, I see the girls, but they get busy…”
“Tucker told me you’re moving out here. Is that still happening?”
“Yes. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
I glanced at my paperwork, a little irritated she’d called me during business hours. I didn’t even eat lunch because I was so busy. But this was my mother, and I couldn’t get annoyed with her or tell her I’d call her back. I should have called over the last few months, but I never did…so I could do this. “Tucker said you sold your house.”