But that’s not where her mind went when Joel asked the question. It zoomed right to her nightmare scenario. The one where he walked away and found someone else. Where the truth turned out to be not that he wasn’t ready to make a commitment but that he didn’t want to make one to her.
“Are you?” Two simple words, but it actually hurt her to say them.
“I didn’t leave you so I could date other women. My decision wasn’t about being a playboy.” His voice rose and anger slipped in as he spoke.
As if he had a right to be upset about the fallout. “Well, I guess that’s good to know.”
Instead of standing around arguing, she headed in the direction of the helicopter. This was a waste of time and they had more important things to worry about than her broken heart.
Joel grabbed her arm before she got more than three feet. “Hey, wait up.”
She didn’t shake out of his grip, though she could have because his hold was more gentle than confining. Seeing the pain in his dark eyes killed off any thought of pulling back anyway.
He closed in, bringing his body within a few breaths of hers. “You know I’m telling the truth, right?”
“I know you had a lot of excuses. Still do.” And she couldn’t hear them again. Not and still function.
“Hope, look...I want...”
“What?” She heard the pleading in her voice.
His eyes closed and when they opened again the wary expression hadn’t faded. “Maybe we should stick to finding Mark.”
Just like that, the mood changed. Something snapped and the tension that had been building blew away.
Because he seemed to want an out, she gave him one. Maybe a change of topic made sense. There had been so much pain and disappointment, so many tears. She needed her head in the game and her mind on Mark. “Fine. Why are we headed back to the helicopter instead of following tracks?”
“I want to check in at work.”
“And?” Joel’s face went blank and she wasn’t falling for it. “Oh, please. Maybe I didn’t see you walking out on me, but I do know you. Part of you, and you are fixated and worried.”
“I didn’t leave you—”
“Joel.”
His hand dropped. “Okay, yes. I’m concerned.”
“You’re admitting it?”
“You deserve that much.” He motioned with his head for them to start walking again. “This is your job, and I think something is very wrong here.”
The honesty flooded her with relief. “Good.”
“Why good?”
“Sharing even that much is a big step for you.”
“I thought you’d be happy I left.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “Back then, I mean.”
The words stunned her and she stumbled. She stared at him, thinking he had to be playing a sick joke, even though that wasn’t his style. But he looked ahead, not even blinking.
“You’ve got to be kidding.” She was about to pull him to a stop when a crack echoed through the trees. Dirt kicked up a few feet away from her, and birds swooped out of the trees in a rush.
“Get down!” His full body smacked into her before he finished talking.
The ground rushed up and she put out a hand to stop the free fall. Her legs twisted with his and the second before she slammed into the ground he turned them.
Landing on his side with a grunt, he absorbed the majority of their combined body weight on his shoulder. His body bounced and she tried to move away and let him brace for impact, but he curled her body into his. Still, the jolt rattled her teeth and she heard him swear under his breath.
She could taste dirt and feel sharp sticks jabbing into her bare legs and ripping off her bandage. Her mind finally focused and the sounds of the forest came rushing back. “Joel—”
“Don’t move.”
It had sounded like... But it couldn’t be. “What was that?” She whispered the question as she frantically looked around.
Before she could scramble to her feet, he shoved her against the ground and covered her body with his. His fingers slipped into her hair as he held her down. She heard a steady stream of reassuring words, but they barely registered over the fear and panic pounding through her.
She expected shouts and more pops. When nothing came, she glanced up. His gaze scanned the area, and his gun was up and ready. She swallowed hard at the vulnerability of their position. Right there on her makeshift path with nothing covering them or blocking their view in any direction.
“A gunshot.” He was so close the words vibrated against the side of her head.
Adrenaline pumped through her, and her heartbeat hammered in her ears so loudly she thought for sure she’d give away their position. “Where did it come from?”