He hadn’t, really. Not until after, when Cam had texted to call him an idiot.
But Shane hadn’t been playing games or thinking over his options. He knew he loved her and wanted to be with her, no matter the consequences. But he did have responsibilities and tried to meet them. “I needed to talk with Holt. I owed him that and wanted to go to Makena with a clear head and no barriers between us.”
Connor smiled. “What if Holt had told you to back off?”
It would have ripped him apart, but Shane’s answer didn’t change. “I would have ignored him.”
“Yep, that’s love.” Connor pushed off from the car and stood up straight. “Okay, good luck.”
That sounded ominous. “Luck?”
“It’s cute that you don’t think you’ll need it.” Connor shook his head as he waved and kept walking. “I almost feel bad for you.”
* * *
MAKENA’S BODY BEGGED for sleep. She was ten seconds away from dropping. She’d dozed on and off in that chair. Talked with the team members and her brother. Checked in and managed to get two of Jeff’s relatives to stop by.
Helping that guy could be a full-time job, but she didn’t plan to let it get away from her like that. She’d been there for him, providing support. He was recovering well and other people he knew, some from whom he’d been estranged for years, were taking over. Now she could rest.
If only she could close her eyes without seeing Shane’s face swim in front of her. As she was walking across the parking lot, it happened again. She was wide-awake with her eyes open, yet he seemed to be standing there, right next to her car. She blinked a few times, expecting him to disappear. But no.
If he’d picked this moment to tell her they needed to stay friends, she might just curl up in a ball. A woman could only take so much. Her bruises had bruises. Worse, her heart felt shredded. He’d done that when he walked away. Fine—if he wanted to walk, he should just keep going.
She stopped in front of him but didn’t say anything. For a second, neither did he. He leaned against her car and watched her. Stared, really. The intense scrutiny had her squirming.
“What do you want?” It came out harsher than she’d intended, but she didn’t have anything left in the tank. She couldn’t hide her reactions or control her feelings. She wanted to strike out and scream. Life seemed so unfair at the moment.
“You.”
He’d said that once before and she’d bought it. Not this time. “We’re not sleeping together again.”
He frowned. “I hope that’s not true.”
“Look, Shane.” She inhaled a few times as she worked to keep some portion of the emotional wall she’d built against him in place. “I’m not your consolation prize. I’m not a side benefit to your case.”
“No, you’re not.”
“What are you doing?” The last of her energy drained out of her. Her shoulders slumped and she fought to stay on her feet. “I’m not in the mood for games or for—”
He stepped up and leaned in. Before she could blink, his arms came around her and his lips met hers. He kissed her with a kick of heat and intensity that stole her breath. She held on as his mouth traveled over hers, and her knees buckled.
When he lifted his head again she expected... Actually, she had no idea what to expect. He could have said anything and she would have nodded. Her brain refused to work and every word died in her throat before she could say them.
“I love you.”
Her heart jumped. Hope pulsed inside her, but she tamped it down. He was handing her everything, but she feared it meant nothing. She couldn’t bring herself to believe, so she shut it all down. “No, you don’t.”
“You’re telling me how I feel?” He sounded amused by the idea.
Nothing about this moment struck her as funny. She shoved against his arms to get him to let go. “Goodbye, Shane.”
She fumbled with her keys. They bounced off her fingers and fell to the ground with a clink. Lost and heartsick, she stood there and tipped her head back to stare up at the sky.
“You can leave, but I’ll just follow you.” His voice came from right behind her. His hands went to her arms, and his face rested against her hair. “I can’t let you go.”
He said... She couldn’t process the words or anything else that was happening. She turned around to face him, letting him see every ounce of pain running through her. “Is this about your ego?”
“It’s about loving you.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “About realizing that I was wrong and pushing you away when I should have been grabbing on with all my strength.”