Jackson hovers outside my classroom window, talking to Coach Marsfield and I find it impossible to look away. He chats with his coach and it’s clear they both have incredible respect for one another. They laugh and chat and it doesn’t go unnoticed that Jackson doesn’t at all seem fazed by the fact that he’s missed the warning bell. Though, that could be a Haven Falls thing.
I find it impossible to look away. He’s so broad and handsome, and kind of scruffy too. He looks like the kind of guy who’d take you cliff jumping at Broken Hill Lake rather than the guy who wants to take you to sit in a dark movie cinema and cop a feel while no one is watching.
He looks fun and for some reason, I find that the most attractive quality.
Who am I kidding? This is Jackson Millington, the very guy who has made life for Nate and Tora a living hell. These thoughts are traitorous. Tora has managed to build me back up into a woman that I can finally be proud of and I wouldn’t dare betray her by checking out Jackson.
No, he needs to go on my ‘never going to happen’ list. Though, truth be told, there’s really no point in having a damn list. I’m a good girl through and through now. No boys for me until I’m finishing college, but then, what about my needs? Okay, scratch that last thought. I can have boys in my life for a little fun, but nothing serious.
Yeah, that sounds much better.
But still, Jackson Millington is off the table. No amount of spontaneous fun is worth the trouble a guy like him would bring. No, Jackson Millington is a bad boy through and through. He’s dangerous. Reckless. But more importantly, since the second I ran into him this morning, he’s had me thinking about things that no good girl should dare think about.
Chapter 4
Jackson
Things are finally starting to look up.
I’m the king of Broken Hill High. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration. Truth is, I feel like a fraud. I’m the popular jock guy by default. If I wasn’t the new quarterback who secured win after win for Broken Hill High, I’d just be the new dude who chicks like to ogle in the hallways.
I don’t know how it happened and it certainly wasn’t my intention, but my being here has caused a divide between the students of Broken Hill High. It’s no secret that Nate has made some enemies over the past few years and with my arrival, they’ve all flocked to me as some kind of leader they’re hoping will take him down, but they’ve got me wrong. I’m not interested. I just want to play ball and graduate at the end of my senior year with a scholarship to make my family proud.
Though, I guess I understand where the wires have been crossed, especially as I somehow ended up involved in a fight with him only a few days ago. This is getting ridiculous. Every step I take somehow looks like a direct hit against Nate and his boys, when in reality, it’s anything but.
I’ve reeled in my douchebaggery ways and started to clean up my act. I even think I’ve started to form some sort of friendship with Tora and I’m quickly realizing that she’s a pretty cool chick. She no longer scowls at me in the hallways as I walk past which is pretty cool too.
Though naturally, my budding friendship with her couldn’t come at a worse time. Nate and Tora’s relationship has taken a dive and the more I’m seen with her, the more Nate’s convinced I’m trying to steal her away. Though what does it matter now that they’re over?
I really don’t know how this keeps happening. I take one step forward and somehow end up taking two back. I’m at that point where I’m ready to say ‘fuck it’ and give up on my plan to make things right. How much is it really worth to me?
I put the thoughts to the back of my mind. It’s Friday night and I couldn’t be more ready to let loose and have a good night. There’s a party later after the races and all I want is to forget all the shit that’s been going down at Broken Hill. Come Monday, I can work out a new game plan, but until then, it’s not my problem.
This shit has been bringing me down all week and I realized that maybe all I needed was a little bit of normal, hence why I’m at the races with my old crew from Haven Falls. I’m not going to sugar coat it, some of these guys are rough, especially Rocko, but some of them, if they put their heads down, could actually go somewhere in life.