It’s been a week since the boys’ little intervention and I have to give it to them, they really helped me out by forcing me to talk it through. Bry is still on my mind at every fucking chance but the alcohol has done wonders of numbing the pain. I hardly feel it anymore. I know I’m broken and I know that once it wears off, the pain will hit me again, but for now, I’m able to survive.
The party is huge and makes the small home seem more cramped than what it really is. There’s one small living room with bodies packed in, grinding against one another. A narrow hallway leads to what I’m assuming is a few bedrooms and it takes only a few steps through the living room and I’m at the kitchen. Despite the house being crammed with bodies, there seems to be even more people outside, sitting around an out of control bonfire.
I make myself welcome and become friends with the keg that sits upon the dining table while Kaylah shuffles off to see some of her old friends from her time at Haven Falls Private. Jesse groans and follows after her, though if anyone can handle themselves around here, it’s Kaylah.
I pour myself and Jesse a drink, knowing that Kaylah will ditch him in the blink of an eye, and sure enough, by the time I’m finished pouring our drinks, Jesse is back at my side. “What did she say this time?” I ask, handing Jess his beer.
“That she doesn’t need a bad smell hovering over her all night,” he says with a roll of his eyes, though we both know she does it because her friends either flirt with him or seem intimidated. There’s no middle ground.
“So, nothing about not being a child who needs protection?”
“Nope, but don’t be fooled, the party is only just starting. There’s still time.”
“Shit, man. You’ve got your hands full with that one.”
“Don’t I know it, but I’d rather have her pissed off with me than see something happen to her. I’ll never forgive myself if she got hurt on my watch.”
I nod, knowing exactly how he feels. “Not to mention, Jackson would fucking kill you.”
Jesse lets out a heavy breath before checking over his shoulder and making sure Kaylah is still exactly where he left her. She catches his eye and he raises his cup to her, silently reminding her that he’s keeping an eye on her. Kaylah instantly flips him the bird but can’t keep the grin off her face before poking her tongue out and laughing at their immature ways.
Jesse laughs to himself before taking a sip of his beer and instantly scrunching his face up in disgust. “Shit, what the fuck is this? It tastes like piss.”
I hook my thumb toward the keg as I lift my cup to my lips and drink it. Jesse is right, it tastes fucking awful but no matter what it tastes like, it’s still my vice to help me forget, so I drink until every last drop is gone before throwing the empty red cup down at the growing pile of cups scattered around the trash.
Despite Kaylah’s warning to behave, when Jess and I have had too much to drink and one of us is feeling a little reckless and needs something occupying his mind, we can’t control what the fuck we get up to. So when I find myself standing in front of some dickheads from Haven Falls with Jesse at my back, there’s no fucking surprise.
A circle instantly forms around us and I curl my hand into a fist. I haven’t gotten into a fight in ages and I’m welcoming it more than I should. The fucker in front of me puffs out his chest as though he’s trying to intimidate me, but he should know that once you lose the one important thing in your life, not much can intimidate you.
I don’t even know how this shit started. Whether he came at me or me at him, I don’t know. Maybe I accidentally shoulder charged him as I made my way past, or maybe he’s just one of those insecure assholes who have an issue with us being from Broken Hill. Though when that happens, it’s usually not personal and has a little more to do with the fact that we come from money. No matter what his issue is, knocking him out is going to go a long way in making me feel better.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen Brylee and I feel like I’m in a downward spiral. The guys are doing their best to keep me from being too self-destructive, but to be honest, it’s not working. I’m making bad decision after bad decision and I can’t find it within me to care.