I made her feel like shit over what happened in the brothel and now it has come back around to bite me in the ass. She opens her eyes again and stares right through me, making me feel like I’m sucking wind. I know Ripley better than anyone and I’m not going to reach her right now. This girl is stubborn as they come and she’s made a decision to shut me out.
I’m going to have to work a lot harder to win her back.
To erase her memory of how I acted, the words I said…I’ll have to do more than just make verbal demands. To convince her I not only want to spend my life kissing the ground she walks on, but that building a family with her would be a dream come true. A dream I don’t deserve, but one I can’t help but reach out and take like a desperate beggar.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” she whispers. “Just let me go.”
Ready to implode with denial, I nonetheless rein in my mania, taking a moment to breathe. To plan. Then I drop my mouth to hers, hoping she feels the promise in my kiss. “Never. I’ll never let you go,” I growl against her mouth, before tearing myself away from her and walking away. It nearly kills me to leave her standing there, but we’re at an impasse. If I push too hard, I know she’ll only close herself off and I’ll get nowhere.
Perks of being in love with a redhead.
No, I need to show her I’m willing and eager to put in work.
I need to get her trust back and make her realize that while she did trick me, us coming together was inevitable. We are inevitable. I was an idiot to try and fight that for so long.
As soon as I’m out of earshot, I rip my cell phone from the pocket of my leather jacket and call my brother. “Hey,” he answers, sounding bored. Where the hell have you been the last few days? I’ve called a couple of times.”
Drinking Jack Daniels, missing Ripley, replaying the moment I sank balls deep into perfection and fucking my hand until my cock had burn marks.
Probably should keep that to myself.
“Working on a bike,” I mutter, losing my battle with the need to turn around and look back at Ripley. But when I do, she’s gone and urgency boils in my stomach. I need to make things right. I need her. “Listen, I was thinking. Are you driving Ripley up the coast to get her settled before the semester starts?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “Couldn’t get out of it. She rented a U-Haul with Alana.” A television flips on in the background, the sounds of golf coming down the phone line. “My wife is making me follow them in my car so I can help them carry the heavy shit. Yada yada yada.”
I’ve never wanted to sock my brother in the jaw more than I do right now, even if this time, his asshole attitude is going to work to my advantage. What is more important than dropping your daughter off at college for the first time? Even if my brother and Ripley aren’t related by marriage, doesn’t he realize how fucking special she is? Who would willingly miss a second of the joy she brings?
I clear my throat to eradicate what’s left of my guilt over pulling the wool over my brother’s eyes. If things work out the way I hope, I won’t be doing that much longer. “How about I take the responsibility off your hands?” I ask. “I wouldn’t mind the ride.”
Roaring up the highway on my Harley, I can just about make out Ripley’s face in the rearview mirror on the driver’s side of the U-Haul. When I pulled up she was hugging her parents goodbye, getting ready to climb into the vehicle and leave.
She couldn’t have made it more obvious that she wanted nothing to do with me, tossing her fiery hair and strutting past me without so much as a word while my brother watched in confusion. Normally she would throw herself into my arms and ask where I’d been, if I’m working on any new bikes, if I like her dress. I’d be harnessing every ounce of my willpower not to kiss her or slide my fingers between her thighs.
Instead, she didn’t say a word in my direction. But it wasn’t the rejection that injured me. It was the pain in her eyes, the tremble of her lips. Seeing how hurt she still was is a dagger ramming between my ribs, pain radiating from the wound and infecting every part of me, especially the goddamn muscle in the center of my chest.
Make it right.
And as we near the gated community where Ripley is going to be living with her friend, the need to repair the damage between us is burning hotter and hotter. A world without Ripley is one-dimensional and bleak. A world where she raises our child without my protection every moment of the day makes me want to bellow like an injured demon. I’ve never been able to envision myself as a father. I’ve always assumed I wasn’t that blessed. That lucky.