Will shook his head. “Say again. Slower.”
So Jesse told him everything and realized as he did how much he’d missed being able to bounce things off Will. During that time when Rich was usurping Will’s life, he’d pretty much cut himself off from the family. Of course now Jesse could look back and see exactly why. The impostor couldn’t risk spending too much time with the Sanders family because they might have seen through the masquerade. At the time, he’d resented Will for putting their mother and sister through so much pain. Now, he was just grateful to have his brother back.
“So the pie was good, huh? Did you save me any?”
“Figures that’s what you took out of everything I just said.” Jesse shook his head. Had he just been thinking how good it was to be able to talk to the man?
“I’m hungry. Shoot me.” Will grinned and gave his brother a long look. “I’m glad you’re going to help Jillian out with the shop.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Rich pulled her into all of this then walked away. I figure the Sanders family owes her.”
Nodding, Jesse said, “That’s how I felt.”
“But the gala thing…” Will’s grin widened. “I’ve never known you to do something you didn’t want to do. So—”
“I don’t want to go to the damn dance,” Jesse assured him. “What I want is her and that’s not okay.”
“Why the hell not?”
Jesse straightened up then scrubbed both hands across his face. “Because she’s not the kind of woman for an uncomplicated affair and I’m not looking for anything else.”
“Again I ask,” Will said, “why not?”
“Seriously?” Jesse just stared at him. “You were here when Lucy’s husband died, Will.”
“What’s Dane’s death got to do with—” he broke off and sighed. “Guilt. Is that what this is about? You think you don’t get something because you’re not through paying your debt to some otherworldly fate?”
“Dane died because of me,” Jesse ground out.
Will scowled at him and snapped, “He died because a horse trampled him.”
“He was helping me.”
“Because he asked you to teach him.” Will stood up and faced his brother. “He wanted to fit in on the ranch. He wanted to be a part of it all and you obliged him. Not your damn fault that stallion went crazy.”
He wished he could believe that, but Jesse knew different. He never should have allowed Dane into the corral with that horse. It was too wild, and he had been too inexperienced.
“I shouldn’t have let him get so close.”
“Hard to learn from a distance.”
“Our nephew doesn’t have a father because of decisions I made.”
“Believe it or not, Jesse, you are not the center of the universe. Fate, Karma, whatever, doesn’t revolve around whatever it is you’re doing from day to day.”
“Brody’s father is dead. Nothing you say can change that.”
Still scowling, Will reminded him, “Brody has two uncles, a grandmother and a mom who’s nuts about him. That’s more than a lot of kids have.”
Facts didn’t seem to ease the regret and guilt that could still rise up and choke him without a moment’s warning. Just the other day, he’d watched Brody riding his first pony and thought that Dane should be there, seeing his son grow. Instead, the man had died, never even knowing that Lucy was pregnant.
“You’re just determined to wear a hair shirt and beat yourself over the head with this, aren’t you?”
Jesse shot his brother a hard glare. “For a while there, I was glad to have you to talk to again. Not so sure, now.”
Will smiled. “If you’re just looking for someone to agree with you, talk to yourself.”
“Thanks. Helpful.”
“You want helpful? Here it is.” Will dropped into his chair again, stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his feet at the ankle. “Go to the dance. Kiss that woman. Don’t be an idiot, and take her to bed if she’ll have you. Let yourself live again, Jesse. Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like I’m not the only one on house arrest.”
* * *
The night of the gala, Jillian was as nervous as a teenager on her first date. “Silly.” She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and hardly recognized herself. She hadn’t really bothered to fix her hair and take care with her makeup since Cora Lee had hosted that service for Will a few weeks ago. And that had really been more casual-dressy. This was something else entirely. And she hadn’t worn anything so blatantly feminine since she quit her job and retired her Valkyrie uniform.