“So, you want the cowboy!” Claudia’s voice went sharp. “And you’re not willing to stay and fight for him.”
“How can I?” Cass lowered her voice and leaned her forehead against the cold glass pane. Looking down into the yard, she watched the cowboys, all bundled up in their hats and coats, and searched for Jake. She didn’t see him out there and she frowned in disappointment.
Even knowing that she was leaving, he clung to the taciturn, stoic cowboy image rather than show her the man he kept locked away. Why wouldn’t he let her in before it was too late? And how was she going to live without him in her life?
“Unless he loves me, there’s no guarantee he won’t one day just walk away.”
“There’s no guarantee anyway,” Claudia pointed out.
“Good pep talk. Thanks.”
Claudia laughed a little. “Who knew love could be such a gigantic pain?”
“Wait until it’s your turn,” Cass warned.
“Please. I’m nineteen. Talk to me when I’m thirty.”
“Fine.” Cass leaned back against the wall, keeping her gaze on the wide sweep of blue sky and the snow-tipped evergreens standing around the edge of the lake far below. “Look, I just wanted to let you know that once the road clears, I’ll be coming home.”
“Uh-huh.” Claudia huffed out a breath. “Cass, you said Jake wants you to marry him. To stay there on that ranch you told us about so often you bored us to tears. He wants you to be pregnant again.”
That all sounded great in the abstract, Cass thought, wishing her sister could understand. But maybe that was impossible. Claudia had been only ten when their father walked out on them. And because Cass and Dave had been there for her, her life really hadn’t been interrupted. It was Cass who remembered the devastation left in her father’s wake.
“But he won’t—”
“Cass, sweetie,” Claudia cut in, “you do realize that you’re the one walking away, right?”
That one quiet sentence slammed home like a thunderclap. She sat straight up as if jerked into place by invisible strings. Was that what she was doing? Was she running first to keep from being left behind? Had she so little faith that the only way to protect herself was to leave before Jake could?
“Oh my God. You’re right.”
“That just never gets old,” Claudia murmured on a heartfelt sigh.
Cass hardly heard her. Thoughts racing, heart pounding, stomach spinning, she inched off the window seat and started pacing. “Funny, I never saw it like that, Claud. I just want to make sure Luke’s protected. Safe.”
And me, too, she thought but didn’t say aloud. I want me to be safe, too. She couldn’t bear it if Jake walked away from her. If he turned his back on her and their children. So what had she done instead? She’d given up to avoid being hurt.
“Of course you want to protect Luke,” Claudia agreed. “But maybe you could give his father more of a chance to figure this out? I mean, you’ve had Luke and the knowledge of him for nearly a year and a half. Jake’s had what? A week or so?”
“True.” Cass looked out the window and still didn’t see Jake. Where was he? She had to talk to him. “I’ve gotta go find Jake, Claud. I’ll call you later.”
She dropped the cell phone onto the bed and hurried out of the room and down the long second-story hallway. She didn’t notice the rugs on the bamboo flooring or the family photos and paintings dotting the walls. Taking the stairs quickly, she made a turn to go to the kitchen and ask Anna to watch Luke for a little longer, but something in the great room caught her eye and dragged her to a stop.
A Christmas tree.
The biggest, most beautiful tree she’d ever seen sat square in front of the windows, lights bursting from every branch. Heart in her throat, Cass walked hesitantly into the room and then stopped dead again when Jake, with Luke perched on one arm, stepped out from behind the tree and smiled at her.
* * *
Jake was nervous.
Hell, he hadn’t been nervous since the night he left for boot camp. But he had the warm, solid weight of his son on his arm and the scent of Christmas filling his lungs, so he fought past that flutter of nerves and started talking.
He’d have felt better if Cassie would smile at him, but she looked so dumbfounded, he figured that wasn’t going to happen.
“I went out and got us a tree.”
Nodding, she whispered, “I see that. It’s beautiful.”