“Secrets and shadows,” she murmured, turning back to the tree where lights burned brightly and strings of silver tinsel caught the reflections of that light and spun it out again. Across the yard, the main house looked dark and forgotten in comparison to the hopeful joy of Ben’s tree. “I can’t stay with him.”
She didn’t know why she’d said it. Probably shouldn’t have, but Jake’s grandfather had been a friend to her before and she desperately needed one now.
“Too early to give up, Cassie.”
“Is it?” She looked at her son and then at the older man. “Should I stay and try and then fail? Should I let Luke fall in love with his father and then have his heart broken when we eventually go our separate ways?”
“Why do you young people always think about divorce?”
“I didn’t—”
“Seems to me that when you’re talking about getting married, then you should be thinking about succeeding, not failing. Why go into anything if you believe you’ll fail?”
“He doesn’t want to marry me, Ben. He only wants his son.”
“Can you blame him for that?”
“Of course not, but—”
“I think you two have to find a way to reach common ground,” he said, like a diplomat. “But it won’t happen if you shut each other out.”
She laughed shortly. “He never let me in.”
Ben winked at her. “He got a dog, didn’t he?”
“What?”
“The dog. Always said he didn’t want one,” Ben mused. “Said a house dog was too much trouble and too much time. But you hadn’t been gone a week when he brought that puppy home.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
Ben’s white eyebrows lifted. “Called him Boston, too.”
True, she had thought that maybe he’d named the dog that because of her. But as Jake made a point of telling her, he was also originally from Boston.
“That’s where he was born,” Cass said, shaking her head more firmly. “His family lives there.”
“Uh-huh, and he’s spent most of his adult life trying to break away from Boston,” Ben reminded her. “The only reason I figure he gave the dog the name of a city he can’t stand is because of you. Because he couldn’t forget you, and more—didn’t want to forget.”
Hope jumped to life in one small corner of her heart. If Ben was right, maybe there was a chance. Maybe she and Jake could find a way past their own doubts and fears and make this work. If Ben was right.
When she left here the last time she had been half in love with him. Seeing him with Luke last night in her room had given her that extra shove she’d needed, though Cass knew that love alone wouldn’t be enough. Could she trust him to stay? Could she believe that a happy ending was possible?
“Would you mind looking after Luke for a little while?” Cass stood up and pulled her coat back on.
“Not a bit. What’ve you got up your sleeve, Cassie?”
She wasn’t sure. Heck, she wasn’t sure of much anymore, it seemed. But she did know that she was here now and if she didn’t at least try to get through to Jake, she might spend the rest of her life regretting it.
“I’m hoping there’s magic up my sleeve.”
Nine
Jake was cold to the bone and exhausted.
Several hours out on the land in a driving, icy wind would do that to a man. Of course, the exhaustion probably had a lot to do with the fact that he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. With Cassie in the room right next door to him, he’d lain awake, tormented by thoughts and images of her.
The anger that had burned so brightly the day before was now just smoldering embers. Yes, he could understand what she’d done and even why—he hadn’t exactly shown her the picture of a man interested in family when she was here the last time. But knowing how much of his son’s life he’d already missed cut at him harder than any icy wind. What he had to decide was what to do now.
He knew what he wanted. He wanted Cassie. Now more than ever.
And he wanted his son.
But the man he’d become wasn’t exactly good material for building a happily ever after.
Jake stabled his horse, gave it a good rubdown and made sure it and the other animals in the barn had plenty of feed and water before heading for the main house.