“Kendall.”
“Right. Sorry.” She dropped her gaze to his ridiculous shirt, but he used a single finger beneath her chin to lift her face until she met his eyes. No getting out of this, then. Her skin went warm in a way strange combination of desire and embarrassment. It seemed to be her default on this trip. She took a slow breath. “This might sound silly, but I want to be wild.”
His lips quirked. “I’d say what you just did was plenty wild.”
She could almost believe that he wanted to protect her, but that seemed to be reaching. Then again, Alex had shown himself to be just as noble as she’d accused him earlier. Why would that stop now? “What you described earlier.” Her skin flared even hotter, but she made herself continue. How could she expect him to take her seriously if she could barely choke out what she wanted? “I don’t think I’m an exhibitionist enough to want that, exactly.” Another fortifying breath. “But I want the illusion of that.”
The elevator door dinged behind them. Alex walked her backward out of it, his hands on her keeping her steady and balanced. “You want to pretend we’re fucking in front of people.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He kept them moving, though his gaze barely left her face. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking from his expression, couldn’t figure out if he thought she was ridiculous or if it was hot or… She didn’t even know. Maybe this was a mistake.
This is most definitely a mistake.
She shoved the tiny voice away. This whole cruise was a mistake. Why not embrace it at this point? She was so tired of fighting losing battles. Some days, it felt like her entire life was just a string of battles she was destined to lose. At work. At home. With her friends. Tomorrow, she’d find the morose thoughts dramatic, but right now, when she didn’t know what Alex was thinking, they felt entirely too real.
He finally stopped them. She looked around to find that they’d reached a far part of the deck. There were lounge chairs here, like in other parts, but they were wreathed in shadows. Kendall’s heartbeat kicked up another notch. “Please say something.”
“I’ll make you a deal.” He sank his fingers into her hair and tilted her head back. Eliminating her ability to hide from him. “I’ll give you whatever you want, Kendall. While we’re on this trip, it’s yours. All you have to do is ask for it.”
Her breath caught in her lungs. The sheer power he offered her… Had anyone ever done that for her before? She couldn’t concentrate while being this close to him, but she didn’t think so. She licked her lips. “Okay.”
“What do you want?”
Her brain fumbled through the words, and her mouth wasn’t much better. “You. Me. Sex. Here.”
Alex gave a small smile, though the intensity in his eyes might create an inferno right there where they stood. “Tell me how.”
Oh wow, he was really going to make her say it, wasn’t he? She let loose a breathless laugh. She could do this. Really, she could. “The lounge chair. I want to…” Come on, Kendall. “I want to ride you.”
His grip spasmed on her hair, the only outward sign that he was just as into the idea as she was. “I don’t have a condom, sweetheart.”
“I do.” She awkwardly reached between them to dig into the front of her dress. Shoving a condom down her top had felt absolutely ridiculous when she’d done it in the bathroom before coming up to the bar, but she was so glad she had now. Kendall waved the foil packet in front of his face. “Apparently the cruise took out stock in condoms because they’re everywhere.”
“Thank fuck.” He took it from her and slid it into his pocket. “Come here.” Alex sank onto the lounge chair and holy crap, they were doing this. He tugged on her hand, and she carefully straddled him. It felt strange and a little awkward, but then Alex hooked an arm around her waist and hauled them both back so he was against the half-reclining back of the lounge chair and she was flush against his chest.
Oh. She could work with this.
Kendall went for the front of his pants, but Alex gave a muffled curse and caught her wrists. “Slow, sweetheart. You grab my cock right now and I’m going to lose it.”
Something warm flowed through her, more intoxicating than any alcohol she’d had on this trip. It felt like… power? “You want me that much.”
He gave a strained laugh. “You have no idea.”
Her awkwardness dissipated in the face of how easily Alex admitted how affected he was. By his desire for her. By her. It was so far from the polite sex she’d had that she almost laughed. If she’d told one of her previous partners that she wanted to have semi-public sex, they would have driven her to have her head checked by a doctor instead of actually considering it. Alex barely even questioned her, and only to confirm that it was exactly what she wanted.