Still, it made him wonder what his relationship with Rachelle was. She was more than just a work acquaintance. He knew that much from her behavior, not to mention the fact she had a key to his apartment.
Had he gone from one failed whirlwind relationship into another? It didn’t seem right, not likely somehow.
If only he could remember!
Twelve
Olivia lifted Xander’s feet up onto the sofa and drew the drapes in the sitting room to block out the afternoon sunlight. He hadn’t even wanted to tackle the stairs when they’d arrived home. His headache must be bad, she thought, checking to see that his chest continued to rise and fall as he slipped deeper into sleep.
But she had him back here; that was the important thing. He could so easily have told her to leave him at the apartment. Maybe even leave him with Rachelle. The very thought painted a bitter taste on Olivia’s tongue. She’d tried to like Rachelle on the occasions she’d met her at company functions, back before her marriage had ended. Had even attempted once or twice to be friendly. But the other woman had always carried herself with an air that implied she believed she was several notches above Olivia on the totem pole of life. How could she not be when Olivia had been, first, a schoolteacher, then, second, a stay-at-home mother while Rachelle was actively and successfully pursuing a high-flying career?
Rachelle had never made a secret of the fact she found Xander attractive, and Olivia had felt threatened by her confidence, not to mention the increasing number of hours in a week Rachelle spent with Olivia’s husband. But Olivia had never once believed that Xander would embark on an affair. That simply had never been his style. But then, he’d changed so much after Parker’s death. Maybe he had picked up with Rachelle after he’d moved out. Goodness only knew the woman hadn’t been subtle about her attraction to him.
In the two years of their separation, Olivia had been working so hard just to keep herself from falling apart over the loss of both her son and her husband that she’d never stopped to consider that Xander might have gotten himself a girlfriend. Hadn’t wanted to consider it, more like, she forced herself to admit. In fact, the idea hadn’t even occurred to her when she’d brought him home from the hospital. Why should it, when the doctors had never mentioned Xander having any visitors other than his mother? Surely a girlfriend would have had some visiting rights?
She pushed the thought out of her head, preferring not to allow her mind to stray down that path. But she couldn’t help it—she kept seeing Rachelle insert herself into Xander’s arms and kiss him. And not only had Xander recognized Rachelle; he hadn’t exactly pushed her away.
Olivia forced herself to do the math about just how far back in his memory Rachelle could be found. Rachelle had started at Xander’s firm before Parker had been born. Did his memory loss stretch back that far or was he actually beginning to recall things and people from his missing years?
She checked on Xander one more time; then, satisfied he was deeply asleep, she went to the kitchen to make herself coffee. As she automatically started the machine and poured milk in a mug, her thoughts kept straying back to Rachelle and Xander—and how at home the woman had seemed in Xander’s apartment. Just how large of a role did she play in Xander’s life outside work, and how long had she been there? A year? Two years? Longer? Had she been hovering in the background even during Xander’s marriage, just waiting to snatch him up as soon as he was free? And had Olivia herself furthered the woman’s plans by not being the wife she should have been? Had her focus on her newborn son and then her developing little boy been so singular that it had driven her husband away from her and into the arms of another woman? It wouldn’t be the first time in history that had happened.
But she hadn’t been the only one wrapped up in Parker. While Xander hadn’t initially been thrilled about the pregnancy, especially when he’d discovered it hadn’t been a blessed accident but a decision she’d made without him, he’d been as besotted with their son on his birth as she’d been. Had they both gotten so caught up in being parents that they forgot to be partners? Was that something Rachelle had taught him how to be once more?
Fear and insecurity wended their way into Olivia’s psyche like the persistent vines of a climbing weed. She couldn’t lose him again—she simply couldn’t. She hadn’t fought when he’d left. And even though on the surface, at least, she’d looked as if she was coping, she’d still been too bruised, too grief-stricken, after Parker’s death to have the energy. But she had energy now, and she knew she had to dig down deep and fight for her man. To consolidate her place in his life and in his heart so that they could work through everything together.