She’d been nuts to think she could just bring him home from hospital and keep him at arm’s length and not have to face a situation like this. He’d always had a high sex drive, and hers had mirrored his. It had been a long time since they’d found their special brand of perfection together.
Not for the first time, she felt strong misgivings about what she’d undertaken. She’d wanted to give their marriage a second chance. But once he knew what she’d done, how she’d used him and taken advantage of his injuries, where would that leave her?
Where would that leave either of them?
Seven
As she exited the bedroom she heard Xander back in his office. She crossed the hall and leaned against the doorjamb.
“You’re supposed to be taking it easy,” she said.
He swiveled around in his chair to face her. “I need to do something. Aside from the memory loss, I’ve started feeling better. I’m bored. With you working on your paintings, I was thinking about calling the office and seeing if I could go in for a few hours a week. Ease in gently, y’know?”
A fist of ice formed around Olivia’s heart. If he did that, it wouldn’t be long before he’d learn about her deception. And what chance would she have with him after that?
“You haven’t been cleared by the doctor yet. Why don’t you give it another week or two? See what he says when you go for your checkup?
“Look, I know I need to be working, but there’s no reason why you can’t be familiarizing yourself with the markets and what’s been happening while I’m painting. Why don’t we relocate your office to the bedroom off the studio? That way you can work and I won’t have to worry about you. We can keep the single bed that’s in there so that if you get another headache, or simply need to rest, you can just lie down.”
“And you can keep hovering over me like a mother hen?” he asked with a raised brow.
She pulled a face. “If you want to call it that. I prefer to think of it as caring. Besides, at least that way you won’t be bored and we can keep an eye on each other.”
He inclined his head. “Okay, when you put it that way. You always lose track of time when you’re painting, anyway. I’ll be able to make sure you keep to your breaks.”
“So, is it a deal?”
He stood up and brushed her lips with his. “It’s a deal.”
“Let’s go and work out where we’ll put everything,” she said, turning to leave the room.
He followed close behind, and she hesitated to allow him to catch up so she could walk down the stairs with him. Yes, he was getting stronger every day, but she still worried.
“Y’know, I’m kind of surprised you’re willing to give up your space to me,” Xander commented as they hit the ground floor and started toward the doors that led out to the cottage.
“Why’s that?” Olivia asked, although she had an idea she knew where this was heading.
“You’ve always protected your work space. I don’t remember you ever suggesting we share it before.”
She shrugged. “A lot can change in a few years. Would you rather not move your office down here? We don’t have to.”
“No, I’d prefer it. We can always use an extra bedroom upstairs for when we have those kids we’ve obviously kept putting off having.”
Olivia stumbled as weakness flooded her body at his words. They hadn’t put off having kids. Would things have been better if they had? Would they have been spared all that suffering if she’d stuck with the five-year plan Xander had painstakingly created for them? He hadn’t thought they were ready to be parents—but she’d wanted a baby so badly. She could never regret the time they’d had with Parker, but if they’d waited...if she’d been a few years older, a few years wiser when she became a mother, would she have made better decisions? Would it have changed anything if Xander had been given more time to adjust and prepare himself to become a father?
She’d taken the decision out of their hands when she’d gone off her birth control pills without telling him. He’d been angry at first, when she’d told him she was pregnant, but he’d eventually warmed to the idea. Although she’d always suspected that in many ways he held a bit of himself back. As if he was afraid to love Parker too much.
She’d even accused him of loving their son less, in those immediate dark days after Parker had died.
“Hey, you okay?” Xander said, putting a hand to her elbow. “I thought I was supposed to be the clumsy one.”