“You all...right?” he asked from the doorway, enunciating his words with care.
“Sure, Dad. Just getting ready to go to The Masters for dinner.”
“That’s...nice. You work too...hard. You...deserve a break.”
And so did he, she reminded herself in the mirror as he wheeled away again. He deserved a break from the guilt that plagued him every day over the medical error that had killed his patient, and from the ill-fated decisions he’d made about his investments. He deserved a break from the illness that took away his control over his life one piece at a time. And most of all, he deserved a break from the relentless fear that they’d lose the house over their head if she didn’t go through with her marriage to Burton. Of all the horrors that her dad faced as his disease slowly claimed what was left of his body, this was the one thing that she could help with. She could make that single fear go away. And she would.
With that thought clear in her mind, Shanal finished applying her makeup and twisted her hair up into a loose chignon. There, she was ready for anything, she thought as she eyed her reflection. No one needed to know about the turmoil that alternately slithered and coiled in the pit of her stomach, every waking hour. She could only hope the tension wasn’t harming her baby. She placed a hand over her still-flat tummy as a surge of protectiveness shot through her. She would allow nothing to hurt her child, no matter what Burton said or did.
She was the last to arrive at the gathering. She smiled her hello to Ethan’s aunt Cynthia, who presided like some matriarchal queen over these evenings, and kissed Ethan on the cheek as he came forward to welcome her. Raif’s parents must still be overseas, Shanal thought as she scanned the room, her eyes skimming over the man himself quickly. She knew the second he was aware of her presence there, and from the corner of her eye noted his movement as he excused himself from talking to Isobel.
“Do you want to talk with Raif,” Ethan asked at her side, “or would you rather I head him off?”
“No, it’s okay,” Shanal responded, her heart beating like a trapped bird in her chest. “We need to be able to be civil with one another.”
“Civil?” Ethan huffed a quiet laugh. “He doesn’t look as if he has civil on his mind.” But respecting her wishes, he stepped back. “I’ll be just over there if you need me.”
“Thank you,” she said, swallowing hard. “But I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
She had mere seconds to shore up her defenses and then Raif was right there in front of her.
“I’m glad you came tonight,” he said simply.
“I wasn’t going to let the thought of you scare me away.”
She knew her response was blunt, offensive even, but she also knew that if she was to get through this evening she needed to maintain the upper hand.
“Like I said,” Raif said, with a smile that made his eyes glitter dangerously. “I’m glad you came. We need to talk.”
She sighed in exasperation. “Raif, we’ve said all there needs to be said. Can’t you just accept defeat? I’m marrying Burton on Saturday and that’s final.”
“Sweetheart, we can do this in front of my family or we can do this in private. Your choice.”
There was something in his tone that made her spine stiffen. “Look,” she started, “I told Ethan I’d be fine with you here, that we could be civil. If I thought for one minute that you’d be anything else, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Oh, I’m being civil.” His voice was clipped, as if he’d clenched his jaw and was biting his words out in tiny chunks. “More civil than you realize. So, tell me about the baby.”
A chill ran the full length of her spine. “B-baby?” she gasped.
“Yes, our baby, if I’m to believe your fiancé.”
Shanal looked at Raif in horror. Burton had told him about the baby? If that was the case, he would have told Raif about the abortion, as well. That would go a long way toward explaining the anger that vibrated off him right now.
She shuddered. She hadn’t wanted it to come to this, but now it seemed she had no choice. Could she maybe let him go on believing the baby was gone? No, she knew she couldn’t. It was not only unfair to him, but grossly unfair to the child she carried. Raif deserved to know. Her mind fractured into a hundred scattered thoughts. If he knew that she was still pregnant, though, what would he do? Would he tell Burton that she hadn’t gone through with the abortion, after all? Would she lose that final chance to save her parents from homelessness, and keep her own job? She had to find out.