“So you see, I couldn’t go through with it. Which leaves me in a very difficult position.”
“Do you love Raif?” her mother asked.
Shanal felt her breath hitch as she allowed the idea to expand in her mind. Love him? She knew she was deeply attracted to him. It was something she’d fought for so many years it had become second nature. Right up until he’d become her knight in shining armor and whisked her away from a marriage she hadn’t wanted, to a retreat where she could hide from her problems. The urge to kiss him had come from a place deep inside her. Their lovemaking had brought the kind of fulfillment she’d always sought in her life, and the kind that had been lacking in her few relationships so far. So, did she love Raif? The tightness in her chest loosened and warmth swelled and filled its place.
“I don’t know,” she said. If she acknowledged how she felt about him that would only make marrying Burton all the more difficult and all the more hopeless. And it would leave her all the more susceptible to being hurt if he didn’t share her feelings, too. “I think I might.”
“Then marry Raif,” her mother said bluntly. “He does know about the baby, doesn’t he?”
“It’s not that simple,” Shanal replied, her voice soft and her eyes now fixed on her father. “I can’t rely on him, Mum. He used me to get back at Burton.”
“Did he really?” her mother asked, getting up to brew another pot of tea. “From what you’ve said, it seems to me that the thought might have crossed his mind initially, but it certainly didn’t stay there.”
“That’s what he said,” Shanal admitted.
“Then I see no reason for you not to believe him. Did he lie to you? Did he hide the truth from you when you asked him?”
“No, he didn’t, but there are other things to consider. If I don’t marry Burton, I will lose my position with Burton International. And there’s a restraint clause in my contract. If I leave Burton International, I am legally unable to work in the same field anywhere in Australia for at least two years. It was stupid of me not to realize the long-term implications of that.”
Understanding filled her father’s eyes as he digested the message hidden in her words. Understanding that was swiftly followed by remorse. She was not about to put it in so many words, but the three of them knew that without her income they’d all be destitute.
“I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
Shanal stood up and took her cup of tea through to her childhood bedroom. There, surrounded by so many reminders of her past, she tried to digest the truth about her feelings for Raif. Theoretically, it should be so simple. She could just tell Burton the truth, that she planned to keep her baby and that she wouldn’t be marrying him. How hard could that be?
But then the look on her father’s face came back to haunt her. He’d been through hell since the medical-negligence compensation claim. He hadn’t fought it, instead taking full responsibility for the damage he’d done—for the death he’d caused by trying to soldier through his illness without telling his peers. Her dad’s shame and sorrow were a heavy burden for them both. He was a man used to being larger than life and a powerful force in the health field, along with supporting his family. The physical and mental toll the whole incident had taken was huge, accelerating the symptoms of his illness.
She looked up as she heard his wheelchair at her door.
“Will...you be...okay?” he asked, forming his words carefully.
Shanal looked at her father, his eyes still bright with intelligence and shining with the love he bore for her.
“Yes, Dad, I’ll be okay.” Somehow. “We’ll all be okay, I promise.”
Her father looked up at her. He laughed, a dry crackling sound that held little warmth. “Your mother reckons...she’s going...to get a job.”
Shanal shook her head. “No, she can’t. You need her here at home.”
When Shanal had learned about her father’s illness, they’d realized that there would come a point when he’d need full-time nursing care. Her mother had been adamant that if anyone was to care for her husband, it would be her for as long as she could manage. Shanal had used some of her own savings to make alterations to the house so her father could remain at home and maneuver safely in his wheelchair.
Shanal’s mum appeared in the doorway, resting her hands on her husband’s shoulders and giving them a squeeze. Her features were drawn into a tight mask and her jaw was set with determination.