His hands slid under the sweater she was wearing—his sweater—and the heat of his touch burned through the thin T-shirt that acted as a barrier between his skin and hers. She wanted more. She wanted Raif. Her fingers clenched in his hair and she kissed him more fiercely, her tongue now dueling with his. Advance, retreat, advance again. The taste of him was intoxicating, another sensation to fill her mind and overwhelm her senses.
She felt her nipples tighten into aching buds, and she pressed against him, the movement sending tiny shafts of pleasure to rocket through her body. She’d never felt anything quite like this before. This level of total abandonment, this depth of need.
The sound of the ferry horn echoed across the water—a stark and sudden reminder of where they were, of what they were doing. Shanal let her hands drop to Raif’s shoulders as she pulled back. Her entire body thrummed with energy and anticipation, but as she came back to awareness of her surroundings once more, the strength leached from her body, leaving her feeling empty, limp.
“I—” she started.
Raif pressed a short and all-too-sweet kiss to her lips. “Don’t say a word. It’s okay. To the winner, the spoils, right?”
He bent and lifted the gangplank, stowing it away before he released the ropes that secured the boat to the pier, then he went inside, shrugging off his jacket as he went.
How could he be so nonchalant? As if what they’d just done had meant nothing to him at all? Shanal spun around and gripped the rail that surrounded the deck, desperate to ground herself on something, anything that had substance. Anything that wasn’t the emptiness that roared to fill the giant hollow cavern swelling deep inside.
Unexpected tears burned in her eyes and she blinked them back fiercely. What on earth had come over her? She was a rational woman. Not one prone to obeying instinct. Not one who literally flung herself at a man and kissed him until every logical part of her brain was burned into an oblivion of physical awareness.
He’d talked about perspective when they were up on the bluff. She’d never needed it more than she did right now. This was the time for rational thought—for her usual careful deliberation. And yet her body continued to make its demands felt, insisting that she do what felt right without a thought to the consequences. She fought for the equanimity that was her signature in every single thing she did, until every beat of her heart, every breath she took, returned her to a state of lucidity once more. Then and only then would she be ready to face the man inside. At least she hoped she would.
* * *
Raif went through the motions, sending the boat back upriver, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the woman in front of him. A sheet of glass was all that separated, but it may as well have been a five-foot-thick wall of lead for all the good it did him. Shanal had taken him by surprise, kissing him like that. He should have been a gentleman, should have stepped back right away. Should even have let her win their stupid race instead of grabbing her into his arms as he had. But then he’d always lived life on the wild side—always relished provocation, stimulation. And boy, was he ever stimulated right now.
The fact that he hadn’t simply dragged her through to the nearest bedroom and acted on the incredible conflagration that had ignited between them was a testament to his upbringing. His mother would have been proud. Well, except for the kiss, maybe. That, she probably wouldn’t have approved of, especially not when the situation between Shanal and Burton was still so murky. Sure, Shanal had removed her ring and run away from their wedding, but Raif had the sense that somehow she was still intrinsically linked to the other man. Whatever was between her and Burton, it wasn’t over yet. And Raif didn’t like it. Not one bit.
He studied Shanal as she stood on the front deck, staring into the water as if she could somehow find the answer to the meaning of life out there. He wished it was that simple. He’d done his fair share of empty gazing, but all it had taught him was that most often the answers you sought lay within a person, not outside. And sometimes those answers weren’t exactly what you wanted to see, either.
“Hey,” he called through the door. “You still owe me lunch, remember.”
Maybe if he could goad her, as he always had in the past, she’d fire back to life again. He counted several beats before he saw her relinquish the stranglehold she had on the railing and straighten her shoulders once more. She came inside the main cabin, wearing that same fragile, shell-shocked look she’d had yesterday when he’d rescued her in the park. It hit him hard in the gut. He’d put that look on her face by letting their kiss become more than it should have.