Raif frowned and was unable to keep the irritation from his voice when he spoke. “Traditionally? For whom?”
Shanal didn’t answer his question. “I think I can manage the rest myself,” she said, stepping just slightly out of his reach and pressing her hands against the crystal-encrusted bodice of her gown to stop it from sliding farther down. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I’ll be down the hall getting changed myself. Just holler if you need me.”
Her pale eyes met his and he felt her trust in him as if it was a tangible thing. It was a surprisingly heady feeling. Shanal had always been so cool, so untouchable and in control. He’d never seen her this vulnerable, and the fact that she chose to put her trust in Raif when her guard was down... It meant a lot.
She gave him a small nod, then collected Cathleen’s clothes off the bed and turned to the bathroom. “I won’t be too long.”
“Take as long as you need,” he said, and left the room. In fact, take longer, he added silently. Because it sure as hell was going to take him a while to get his raging hormones under control.
Two
Shanal closed the bathroom door behind her and stripped away her wedding dress. Without caring about any possible damage to the delicate and expensive fabric, she let it drop to the floor. She shuddered. Right now she felt so cold, deep down into her bones.
She quickly tugged on the jeans and sucked her tummy in a little to do up the zipper. Cathleen’s curves were just a bit more subtle than her own and it showed in the cut of jeans that she favored. Too bad, Shanal thought as she slid her arms into the sleeves of the T-shirt and pulled it over her head. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. That final thought held a painful irony she didn’t want to think about right now. She had enough on her plate.
There was still an air of unreality about what she’d just done. In fact, she could barely believe she’d done it. Run away from everything—everyone.
Burton would be angry, she knew. Justifiably so? Very likely. They’d had an agreement, and if she’d learned anything about Burton Rogers it was that he couldn’t bear to be thwarted, not to mention being humiliated in front of a cathedral packed with his peers. She certainly wasn’t in any headspace to face that right now.
It wasn’t that she was worried he’d get physical with his rage—no, that would be beneath his dignity—but how did you explain to a man, especially one who on the surface was every woman’s dream, that you no longer wanted to be his bride? All she knew was that she couldn’t go through with it. She needed space—time to think, to form a strategy to overcome this situation she’d put herself into.
Another shudder ran through her and she felt her chest constrict anew. Her breathing became difficult again and she closed her eyes and focused on one breath in, one long breath out. When the tightness began to ease, she reached for the logical side of her brain. The one that had weighed the options of Burton’s offer of marriage so carefully and had accepted it, knowing she didn’t love him. The tension returned twofold. No, she couldn’t even think about it. She felt so close to the breaking point. The two people who now depended upon her most, her mum and her dad, would be beside themselves with worry. For her. For themselves. Her father’s medical expenses aside, in a few months they would be struggling to meet paying their utilities, let alone affording the basics like food.
Her decision to run away from Burton would affect them all.
She’d find a way around it. She had to. The alternative simply wasn’t an option. And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, after all—maybe it was just her panicked mind that was making it seem worse than she thought. Right now, though, she needed distance. Distance and a healthy dose of perspective. Raif had offered her both unquestioningly.
But what was his angle? Was he doing this because he wanted to help her—or just because he wanted to hurt Burton? He’d come to see her at her parents’ home three months ago after her engagement had been announced. He hadn’t wasted time on niceties such as saying congratulations. He’d come straight to the point and said he was there to talk her out of marrying Burton. She’d told him the wedding would go ahead no matter what he had to say, and had very firmly asked him to leave, without hearing him out. She knew there was bad blood between him and Burton; she’d gotten the sense from what Burton had said that it had been some idiotic male rivalry over a woman. Whatever had happened, Raif had clearly carried a grudge, and she’d assumed that was what had motivated him to see her.