In treating her as he had, in believing the very worst, and at face value, he’d made a terrible mistake. This all should have turned out so differently. Until he’d discovered that envelope in her office, he’d begun to hope they could possibly spend the rest of their lives together. He could understand why she’d clung so hard to the life she’d fought to create. Was it possible to turn back the clock?
He doubted it. He’d hurt her, and hurt her badly. Why on earth would she trust him again? Based on how he’d treated her, if he were in the same position, he certainly wouldn’t. He fought to find a solution, one that would work for all of them. By the time dawn broke through the flimsy bedroom curtains, he was no closer to an answer. All he could do was apologize for what he’d put her through, and then trust she was willing to work from there.
As he negotiated the road down to Connell Cove again he hoped against hope that he could convince her, because somewhere in the lonely hours just gone he’d realized a truth that he hadn’t wanted to consider before.
He still loved Erin Connell. No matter her past. No matter how she’d tried to hide the truth about her late husband not being Riley’s father. He loved her. It was as simple as that. All he had to do was convince her.
* * *
“What now?” Erin said as she opened the door to him again, Riley in her arms.
The instant the little boy saw Sam he opened his arms and babbled a stream of happy baby-speak. Sam’s heart swelled with delight—a sensation he welcomed back into his life. Riley wanted him. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. Hard on its heels came an even deeper understanding of what it would be like for Erin, giving Riley up.
Leaving here as he had a few weeks ago had been tough, not knowing how long it would be before he saw Riley again, but the light at the end of the tunnel had been that he’d known he would. That eventually Riley would be his. Now, the thought of walking away and never seeing his son again was enough to pitch his stomach and make him want to fight back and fight hard. How much worse was it for Erin?
Had his threats to her that awful night he’d confronted Erin driven all the fight out of her? Was that why she was no longer fighting for her baby? She’d struck him as the kind of woman who’d be near feral in protecting her child. She’d been prepared to lie to everyone to keep Riley and keep their home. Exactly when had that stopped being so important to her?
“May I?” he asked Erin, waiting for what felt like an eon before she gave a small nod and passed Riley to him.
“I suppose you’d better come in,” she said begrudgingly.
“Thank you,” he said, hoping he’d infused his words with the genuine thanks he was feeling.
She led him into her sitting room where Riley’s play gym was on the floor.
“You can set him down there,” she said, pointing to the mat and toys.
Reluctantly, Sam did as she suggested and was pleasantly surprised when he saw Riley roll over from his back to his tummy.
“He can roll over!”
“Yeah, he’s been doing it for a few days now. Thinks he’s pretty clever.”
Sam heard the bittersweet tone in her voice and it drove a stake into his heart. This was one milestone she could still be a part of, but what came next? The enormity of her giving Riley up just hitched another notch. A sudden desperate urge to protect her from any more harm mushroomed inside him. He was the instigator of all of her unhappiness. He had to make it up to her.
“Why are you back?” she asked. “I thought I made my position clear last night.”
“You did. But I wanted to apologize to you. For some stupid reason I really did think that throwing money at you would absolve me of some guilt, but I was very wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you more, Erin. When I left here weeks ago, I was so angry I could only see one thing and that was getting Riley. I never stopped to think about what it would do to you, only about what I’d missed out on, what I’d lost. I’m so very sorry. It was selfish of me, and narrow-minded.”
Erin looked at him in shock. When she didn’t speak he pressed on.
“I had some information on you, you know, and your husband—but it wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted to know exactly who had given birth to my son. I didn’t hear about your family life or what happened after that until the night we took Riley to the emergency doctor.” He lifted a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. “It was a helluva night, wasn’t it?”
“That’s one way of describing it,” she said tightly.
“Damn, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to minimize what happened, what I did and said to you. I’d received confirmation that Riley was mine and I wanted to tell you. That day, out on the boat, it was the perfect opportunity, but then we got the call that Riley was sick. When you asked me to get the car keys, the last thing I expected to see on your desk was the letter from the laboratory confirming James wasn’t Riley’s dad—the date on the letter told me you had known for weeks.