“We could talk about your brother.”
“This isn’t the time or place.”
“You’ve got to talk about it sometime.”
“Not really. My father always said real men don’t talk. Especially not about feelings.”
“Okay. Now I’m starting to think your dad must be a real piece of work.”
She didn’t know the half of it. “And he’s happily settled in Miami right now. Over a thousand miles away. So there’s no point in discussing him.”
“Actually, with him that far away I’d think you would feel free to talk.”
He laughed. “Huh!”
“Come on. Tell me some stuff about your brother.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Because I want so badly to tell you that I know it has to be wrong. “Not tonight.”
“You’re obviously angry with him. Probably in the anger stage of grief.”
He pounded his fist on the bar. “That’s enough!”
The sound of his fist echoed in the suddenly silent room.
Audra took a step back. “I’m sorry.”
Overwhelmed, he ran his fingers through his short hair, spiking it. “No, I’m sorry. I just don’t like being pushed.”
The sound of Joshua crying filled the office from a monitor somewhere. Dominic hadn’t even known they’d installed monitors. Yet another thing she’d done for him because she was good and smart. While he was nothing but bitter and angry and difficult with her.
Audra turned to the door. “He’s probably wet. I’ll go upstairs and change him.”
Dominic grabbed the bottle of Scotch again, not watching her go. But when he knew he was alone, he rubbed his hand across his mouth. Damn it. He was losing his mind. He dropped the Scotch on the bar and ran up the stairs.
When he opened the door to the nursery, Audra was changing Joshua’s diaper.
“I was right. He’s just wet. He’ll probably go back to sleep the second I lay him in the crib.”
“Look. There are two really good reasons I don’t want to talk about my brother. The first is that I don’t want to say unkind things about him.”
“I understand.”
He ran his hand across the back of his neck. “Audra, you couldn’t possibly understand. A few nights ago even you admitted it. Our lives are worlds apart.”
“Okay.”
“Damn it! Don’t be nice to me! Don’t forgive me for yelling.”
She shook her head. “What do you want me to do? Yell back? Not in front of the baby.”
“Right.” He blew out his breath harshly. “The thing is my dad pitted me and Peter against each other when we were younger, until Peter was the one who proved himself to be the person suited to run the family conglomerate.”
“Wow. Your dad gave you a shot?”
He laughed. “Trust you to find the sunny side of what my dad did. But no. He did not give me a shot. My dad was showing Peter he wasn’t a shoo-in just because he was the elder. Unfortunately, to do that he more or less had to humiliate me.”
She grimaced, lifting Joshua off the changing table. “Ouch.”
“My dad wasn’t always nice.”
“He was one of those turn-his-boys-into-men kind of dads.”
“Exactly.” Not at all. His dad had been a cruel disciplinarian. The lucky end result had been that his boys had become men, but that was more because Dominic and Peter had formed a team. Helped each other. Peter had rescued Dominic, then Dominic had become his right-hand man.
Dominic meandered through the quiet nursery. He picked up a small statue of a bear with its paw in a jar of honey and examined it. “I’m going to stink as a father. My dad was such a bad example of parenting that I seriously don’t know how to be a dad.”
“But Peter did it.”
“Peter could do anything.” He turned from the small dresser and caught her gaze. “And I’m not bitter. I loved my brother. I didn’t want him to die. I most certainly didn’t want to be handed everything he had earned. I failed in the competition, so I wasn’t trained to do any of this. Peter was. And that’s the man, the example Joshua should see.”
“But you’re doing fine.”
He laughed. “I’m the also-ran. Peter was the star, yet every day I’ll live with the knowledge that Joshua will never see that. Never know his dad. Never see him or talk to him.”
Suddenly tired, he headed for the door, but he stopped and faced her again. “And, yes. I think that’s unfair to Joshua.”
“Oh, Dominic.” She walked over and put her hands on his lapels. “Joshua won’t suffer by knowing you. You’re wonderful, too.”