“I’m sorry.”
Though others had sympathized, Audra had never believed anybody understood what had happened to her life, her heart, her soul…her everything until Dominic. One event had changed his entire life, too. They had both lost not just a love or a brother. They’d lost the future they’d envisioned awaited them—a future they knew how to deal with—and were forced into a life that some days didn’t even make sense.
She took a breath. “Thank you for the sentiment, but you weren’t at fault.”
“Maybe I’m apologizing on behalf of rich bad boys everywhere who should know better than to trick some nice girl into thinking we’ll settle down.”
A delighted giggle burst from Audra. A year ago she might have agreed he should apologize, if only on principle. But time and distance really had given her perspective enough that he’d made her laugh.
He smiled. “See, that’s the kind of stuff I used to be good at. Making people laugh. Making them feel good. Now everybody wants me to be serious. Smart.” He shook his head. “I think a few of the people on the board would like me better if I’d rant and rave.”
“So save your sense of humor for Joshua. It’s really very easy to make a baby laugh and like you. All you have to do is tickle his tummy. You can recite the Declaration of Independence while you’re tickling. It doesn’t matter what you say, he only wants to hear your voice.”
Dominic rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Audra, even if I did believe you, I don’t have time.”
She started to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her.
“Before you remind me that I made time to go out, the biggest reason I’m not having fun is that I’ve been entertaining business asso-ciates—doing the job I used to do for Peter. I might not be the fun guy I used to be, but I still have to soften up the people I need to do business with so they’re predisposed to trust me and do the deals I need done. What everybody seems to forget is that this—schmoozing—was my job for the company. When Peter died I was waiting in the wings to replace him. When I replaced him, no one stepped up to do my job.”
“So maybe you need to hire a schmoozer?”
***
Dominic blinked. Rather than feel sorry for him, once again Audra had challenged him. He wanted to wallow. She kept nudging him to answers. But she didn’t have every piece of the puzzle.
“You have a simplistic view of the world.”
She shrugged. “I think you have a skewed view of the world. Not everything’s black-and-white.”
“Then it appears that we have to agree to disagree.”
“I’ll accept that, if you can answer one question for me.”
“Anything to get to bed.”
“What did Peter do with Joshua? How was he involved in his life?”
Dominic drew a quiet breath. “I didn’t live with Peter so I don’t know.” But he did know. He saw Peter with Joshua every time the family got together. He’d heard stories from Marsha about Peter getting up for two-o’clock feedings and changing diapers.
“Make an educated guess.”
“Okay,” he said, getting angry now. “What if he was doing exactly as you said, bonding over simple daily things like feedings and diapers? He might have had a business to run and a family to squeeze in, but he had a wife to help him and he had me.” Fury unexpectedly roared through him. Rage so hot and so bitter it burned in his blood. “Everybody sees what Peter did. Even I do.”
He fought the hatred for the brother he’d always loved, but it boiled like a witch’s cauldron. The thing he didn’t want to acknowledge burst inside him, refusing to be ignored. Even though Peter saved Dominic from their own dad, nobody had had to save Peter. Their father had loved him.
“But I’m doing both of our jobs now. Peter was an ace. No question about it. At one job. I’d like to see him do both.” He turned to the door. “Drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”
Slapping his hands on the swinging door, he strode through, not allowing himself to finish the conversation in his mind. He didn’t want to be angry with Peter. He had adored his brother. He didn’t want to be suffocating under the weight of his life. But he was. He wasn’t called to do this. His dad had told him time and again he was meant to be the guy on the sidelines. Second best. So he’d adjusted.
And now he couldn’t do the things Peter did with ease, which was why he didn’t want to raise Peter’s son. He wanted to watch Peter enjoy the little boy he’d brought into the world. He wanted to see Peter slowly introduce Joshua to the business that was the family heritage. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. And nothing Audra could say would change that. He was done hearing her try.