“No.”
When she turned her eyes back on me, there was a small gleam of hope.
“I was going to tell you. Actually, I was planning on talking to you this week. The timing of this nightmare was just poor.”
“Why did you wait so long to tell me the truth?”
Here was the difficult part. I had no idea how she would react. “Because I want you to live in my world too. I knew you weren’t ready for that over the past six months. I was waiting until I thought you would consider it.”
“Consider what?” she asked.
I slid my hands into my pockets, knowing this was the moment of truth. “Being my sub.”
Her face held the exact same expression, a cold exterior that couldn’t be penetrated. She wasn’t as angry as I expected her to be. To find out her boyfriend was sitting inside a sex club while she slept would piss off anyone.
I wasn’t sure if she even knew what a sub was. “I’m a Dom, Rome. I’ve inherited this trait from my father, and I can’t shake it. I know I’m never going to change. I was hoping we could have that kind of relationship. If you need more time, I understand. But I hope you don’t reject the idea altogether.”
Like she was talking to herself, she whispered under her breath. “Now it all makes sense…”
I still couldn’t gauge her reaction. She didn’t seem angry. But she didn’t seem happy either.
She chuckled in a sarcastic way, even though there was nothing funny about this situation. “I knew you were too good to be true. An alarm kept going off in my head, saying there must be something wrong with you…and there is.”
The insult stung me—right in the chest. Like everyone else, she thought I was a freak. I’d hoped she would keep an open mind, but it didn’t seem like it would happen.
“I’m not even mad,” she continued. “First Hank and now you…” She shook her head. “I have terrible taste in men. I officially give up. Being single with a bunch of cats doesn’t sound half bad anymore.”
“I don’t know Hank, but I assure you, I’m nothing like him.” My jaw clenched tightly at the comparison. I never wanted her to think about another guy when we were together. Hank was probably an asshole, but I genuinely cared about Rome.
“Actually, you’re exactly alike,” she whispered. “And I feel like an idiot for not noticing.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I gave you my virginity.” She laughed again, but tears formed in her eyes. “I told you I loved you. I accepted your job offer to be closer to you. I feel…” She closed her eyes for a moment before she reopened them. “I feel so stupid.”
I felt like shit.
Worse than shit.
I hated myself.
No, I loathed myself.
“Rome, it wasn’t like that. I care about you—a lot. The second I saw you in that bar, I knew I had to have you. For the past six months, I’ve been absolutely faithful to you. I haven’t even looked at another woman. I’ve been in this relationship completely—heart, body, mind, and soul. I meant every word I said to you.”
“I’m sorry, Calloway,” she said in a resigned voice. “You had ulterior motives throughout this entire relationship. I don’t exactly trust anything you say right now.”
Fuck, that hurt.
It hurt more because I deserved it.
“I’ve never lied to you. I just didn’t tell you this one aspect of my life. I wanted to wait until I thought you were ready to hear it.”
“No, you purposely kept me in the dark for six months. You misled me about the man you really are. You didn’t tell me about your sexual preferences, calling me Vanilla like it was cute. Maybe you never directly lied because I never questioned you about it, but this is worse. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not real.”
This was going much worse than I’d ever imagined. I thought she wouldn’t agree to be my sub, but I didn’t think she would write off our entire relationship as meaningless. That wasn’t how I felt at all. “Sweetheart, it’s not like that… I’ve loved every moment with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
“Even if that’s true, it doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me—so much.” She stepped back, putting more space between us. “Because I was invested in this relationship and hoping it would last forever. But you already knew the end before the beginning.”
“In my defense, I told you I wasn’t looking for marriage and a happily ever after.” Maybe she didn’t believe me at the time, but I meant it. “I said that right in the beginning so you wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
She held my gaze, the memory on the surface of her eyes. “Christopher told me to ignore it…”
“Why would he say such a thing?”