“Olivia,” he said, but I ignored him. I didn’t know what else to say. I was in a tailspin of panic and needed to get out of there. “Olivia,” he said again, this time tinged with his own panic now that I had my dress on. “What are you doing?”
I stopped. What was I doing? Running from the moment? Running from the man? I looked at him sitting up in bed and really saw him. I locked my eyes on his, and it was like I could breathe again. Inhaling as deep as my lungs would allow, I calmed down. The panic was still there, simmering, but I didn’t want to run from Kent. I didn’t want to give up at the first bump in the road.
“I’m scared,” I admitted on a whisper.
“I understand. But I also know Daniel.”
“You know Daniel as your best friend. The guy who cheers on your conquests.”
Kent laughed. “Trust me, Daniel won’t be cheering me on when it comes to you. But he also won’t overreact. I know him, Olivia.”
I did too. I knew he was the only person to ever expect more of me. More than stumbling into a sex club and sleeping with the first man I met. What if he found out, and that was how he saw me? Who would expect more of me then?
“Olivia, please.”
Time stood still, and I remained frozen to the spot. “Why?” I finally whispered.
“Why what?”
“Why would you want to risk it? What if all this blows up in our faces? Why risk it?”
He floundered, his mouth opening and closing, and it was like a pin to my balloon. I deflated. Maybe he did only want me for sex, and he couldn’t think of a valid reason to risk it all beyond a good blow job.
“Forget I asked,” I said when his answer took too long to come.
“Oli—”
“I have to go.”
“Because I love you.”
The words ripped from him. They tore from him and slammed into me so hard, I lost my breath.
“What?”
“Okay?” he growled, one hand thrown out and the other buried in his hair. “I love you. It’s got about a million strings attached to it that could go wrong, but there it is.”
The words rippled across my skin, sinking into my body, filling my chest up like a balloon that was going to float away. Every bit of anxiety over Daniel fled, no room for it among all the joy stretching me from head to toe.
Kent loved me.
Kent loved me.
My mind played the words on repeat until it bubbled over. Abandoning my exit, I jumped on the bed, giggling at his wide eyes. His arms automatically came up to catch me, and I climbed on his lap, wrapping around him, trying to become one with him.
It wasn’t enough. His brow furrowed like he wasn’t sure what to expect next, and I laughed again. I couldn’t blame him. We’d been awake all of an hour, and our emotions had swayed from one extreme to the next like a rollercoaster.
But I’d ride it again and again if it got me in his arms, weightless and happy. Wiping away any doubt, only one truth remained.
“I love you too,” I whispered before fusing my lips to his. I put all of myself into it—gave him every part of me. It took less than a second before he gave all of himself in return.
Kent and I had passionate, wild, crazy sex that always took me to the ends of the Earth, but this was more. This was Earth-shattering. This was us clinging tight to put ourselves back together in each other’s arms.
“We’re so fucked,” he grumbled, his lips skimming down my neck, his hands fisting my dress out from between us.
“I don’t care.” I was a geyser exploding with emotion, and I was unable to hold it in. I laughed and kissed any inch of skin I could reach. “I don’t care because I love you.”
My core brushed against his hardened shaft, and I shifted until I could slide up and down his cock, coating him with my desire, moaning each time he brushed my clit.
“I need you,” he moaned.
“Yes.”
Before leaning back to grab a condom, he gripped my jaw and forced me to meet his eyes. “We have to tell him, Olivia. He’s my best friend, and I can’t keep lying to him. He knows something is going on with me, and it’s only adding tension. Give him a chance to understand.”
“Just…” I swallowed and flicked my eyes to the side, collecting myself. “Just give me time.”
It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t fix all the things that could go wrong running through my mind, but it was a step in the right direction. I could do this—with him—one step at a time.
How could I not when I loved him?
20 Kent
I held my breath when the door creaked, and a shaft of light spread across the foyer, only to be filled with Olivia’s shadow. I waited for her to notice me despite the way I sat in the dark corner of the room, but instead, she let the door slowly close behind her and followed the directions on the paper clutched in her hand.