My heart thundered like it did every time I thought about it. “Yeah,” I breathed, turning my attention back to Hanna. “Can you believe I’m going to be a dad?”
“It’s hard to imagine,” she admitted. Her eyes lifted, shining like melted emeralds, so much like Erik’s, except filled with more warmth than I’d ever seen from my best friend. “You’re going to be amazing, Ian. You always are.”
Hanna was family. She’d known me since we were kids. Having her approval eased a knot in my chest. I pulled her in for a side hug and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you, Hanna.”
“Any time.”
Before Carina could bolt, I gave Hanna a wave and ran to my baby-mama. “Hey,” I called when we stepped out of the office. She turned, her nose still raised high. How someone shorter than me could look down at me so efficiently amazed me. It had to be a special talent of hers because no one had done it quite like she did. “You want to get some lunch?”
“I can’t. I have an OB appointment.”
“Is everything okay?” Alarm bells rang in my head, and she must have seen the panic because her face softened.
“Yeah. It’s just a check-up. Listen to the heartbeat and that kind of stuff.”
“Whew.” I lifted my hand to my forehead. I may have been more relieved when she even cracked a smile at my reaction. “Can I—Would you mind if I came?” She hesitated, and I rushed to plead my case. “I’d love to hear the baby.”
Another soft smile let me know my answer before she did. “Sure.”
When I pumped my arm and hissed “Yess,” I even got a laugh from her.
Her laugh choked off when I leaned down to press a quick peck to her cheek, her eyes widening like saucers. I thought about apologizing for possibly crossing a line, but I wasn’t. So, instead, I smiled down at her and whispered, “Thank you for letting me come.”
I smiled the whole way to the doctor’s office and even while we waited. When we got called back, I put on my best mature, I’m-the-baby-daddy face. The nurse did all the regular things, checking Carina over. When the boxes were all checked, she asked Carina to strip from the waist down and let us know that the doctor would be in.
“Will we be able to see the baby?” I asked before she could leave the room.
“Ian…” Carina admonished quietly, but I ignored her and kept my eyes on the nurse.
“Oh, umm, we’ve already done a twenty-week ultrasound. We don’t usually do another unless we need to see something specific.”
My heart sank, and I’d never been so devastated by such a small piece of information. I felt like a toddler, not getting his way.
“Is there anything we can do?” I asked, not ready to give up. “I kind of missed the beginning, and I was hoping to catch up.”
She must have felt the desperation pouring off me because she gave a smile and narrowed her eyes like she was considering my request. “Sure. I’m not sure if we can do the 4D ultrasound, though. It’s not always covered by insurance.”
“I’ll pay whatever extra it costs.”
The nurse laughed at me. “Okay. We’ll make it work.”
When she left, Carina moved to sit on the edge of the table, the paper crinkling with every adjustment. I lounged back and frowned when she just stared at me. “What?”
“Leave, Ian.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it all.” Her lip curled, and I knew that was the only warning I’d get. “Okay, okay. I’m going. Call me back in when you’re ready.”
I’d only been outside for five minutes before she called me back in, a thin pink sheet thing covering her lower half, her flowy black shirt covering the top.
“So, is all this normal? Stripping down with your butt bare back there?”
“Ian.” She tried to sound irritated, but the laugh she couldn’t hold back ruined it.
“Don’t act like if I walked around this table, I wouldn’t find your beautiful ass there. That sheet thing is only so big.”
Carina shook her head, biting her lip to hold back more laughter. “Yes, this is all normal,” she answered. “I’ll have them once a week in this last month.”
“Can I come?”
Her blue eyes shined, reminding me of the sea I saw when my parents took me on a trip one time to the Amalfi Coast. They were wide and surprised by my request. “You—you don’t have to,” she stuttered, shaking her head. “I can just message you updates.”
I reached across the space between us, resting my hand atop hers that clung to the edge of the padded table. “I want to. I want to be here for you both.”
Swallowing hard, she finally gave in. “Okay.”
There was no holding back my smile. It felt like a small step was taken in the direction of me winning her over. Winning her over to what, I wasn’t sure yet. But I knew I needed to be closer and maybe this concession narrowed the gap.