I was wrong. I was just as naive as he accused me of being. I was just as stupid to not listen to his words and brush them off when he still gave me heated stares, when he gave me an inkling of approval. I swallowed back the tears, the full weight of my immaturity crashing over me. I’d always felt older than my nineteen years because I’d experienced more than most. But as I leaned against the stone of the building, there was no questioning the fact that I was just another dumb girl with silly dreams.
Erik had tried to prove a point Saturday night and I’d brushed it off and accepted it with a shrug, not really believing him. But he sure proved his point now. Just because I was in his world now, didn’t mean a man still wasn’t just a man. It was about time I accepted it and stopped hoping that maybe some of my fantasies would come true.
I met Laura by the car and remained silent during the drive home. The apartment door had just closed when my phone vibrated with a message.
Unknown: It’s Leah.
Unknown: Hope you’re good.
I stared at the phone with hesitance like it was a bomb waiting to go off. I’d told her to contact me with an emergency and I waited to hear what it was, but no other messages came through. My mind raced with the possibilities, but after the emotional roller-coaster I’d been on today, seeing Leah’s name on my phone eased some of the pressure in my chest. Maybe my sister was messaging me just when I needed her. Maybe me not being there to take care of things had forced her to grow up a bit and she was reaching out.
Me: Hey. Yeah. How are you? Where did you get a phone?
Unknown: Oscar got me one.
The pressure was back when she mentioned his name. If Oscar was still around, Leah wasn’t getting any better. I rolled my eyes at my own naivety. Looked like today was a day for realism—optimism be damned.
Leah: Are you with that guy that came storming in our place?
Me: Why?
Leah: He gave me that money. I figured if you were still there, maybe you could get me more.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes. When would I learn to stop hoping for the best?
Me: No.
Leah: Liar. Where are you?
Me: Safe.
Leah: With money. I’m sure he’s paying you well for your *services*
I let her assume what she wanted. The sister I had hoped to be on the other end of the message was long gone. This Leah was mean and angry. She wasn’t the supportive friend I’d had before Mom died.
When I didn’t respond, she turned to guilt.
Leah: Are you going to let me suffer?
Me: You can take care of yourself.
Leah: I’m trying. Please.
Me: Leave Oscar.
Leah: Why? He loves me and I need him.
Me: Then I can’t help you.
I didn’t wait for a response. I tossed the vibrating phone on the counter and headed to my room. All I wanted to do was wash the day away and fall in bed.
I jerked awake when my door flew open, crashing against the wall. Clutching the comforter to my chest, I scurried back against the headboard and took in the large figure in the door. My heart thundered and my lungs struggled to take in air.
I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting off thoughts of the worst. I always locked my door and the one time I didn’t a man comes storming in. The bad dream faded when my bedroom light was flicked on and a scowling Erik stood illuminated in the door. He took two long strides to the bed and I held the blanket tighter like a shield.
“What the fuck is this?” he growled, holding up my phone.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I screeched, adrenaline still pounding through me. I was only in my underwear and a cami with no bra. If he wanted to talk to me, he could at least have the decency to let me get dressed. “Get out.”
He ripped my shield from my hands and I curled my legs up, using my hands to cover as much of myself as possible, even though he wasn’t looking anywhere but my face.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. This?” Each word was snarled from his clenched jaw.
Between the panic still coursing through my veins and being jarred from a deep sleep, I struggled to think. I took in the black rectangle and answered with sarcasm. “It’s a phone, asshole.”
He tossed the phone, hitting the pillow next to me, not saying anything. I brought the screen to life and saw some of the messages from my sister.
Leah: We can work together.
Leah: Meet me and help me.
Leah: It’s just a little money.
Leah: Stop being so selfish. He won’t miss it.