Scooting forward in my chair, I reached my hand across the desk until I was able to place it over his. His hand stopped and he briefly flashed his eyes to mine. I didn’t say anything, just rested my hand on his for comfort for as long as he’d take it. Air rushed from my lungs when he adjusted, turning his palm up to hold mine.
We sat there for maybe a minute, but a huge shift occurred. He accepted my comfort and a silent truce fell between us. After a while, he eased his hand back and I did the same.
“Don’t ever talk about it,” he said again. “Don’t ever tell anyone.”
“Yes, sir.” I gave him my compliance. No sarcastic remarks and petty battle.
“Good.” He sat upright at his desk and moved his mouse to bring the computer back to life. “Now, go get me a coffee.”
I almost bristled at his brusque order, mad that I’d apparently been the only one to feel a middle ground. But then he glanced my way and one side of his mouth ticked up.
I relaxed, realizing Mr. E had a darker sense of humor.
14
Erik
“I know I’m not supposed to talk about what you do while we’re out, but can I ask you questions while we’re home?”
I looked over my shoulder to Alexandra sitting on the other side of the island. She leaned forward with her elbows resting on the marble counter, causing her t-shirt to gape and expose damn near all her cleavage.
Ignoring the way my chest ached at hearing her call my apartment her home, I forced myself to turn back to the sink. I’d never shared this place with anyone and I didn’t plan on keeping her here for long. But if I had a gun to my head, I could admit that I guessed it wasn’t so bad having her around.
“You can. I may not answer though.”
She laughed softly. “Fair enough.”
It’d been a week since I’d confessed about what I did on the side—since I’d told her about my sisters. An unspoken truce had formed. I was still conservative with my time around her, but I stopped punishing her for my own attraction. I didn’t stop making her get my coffee, but I did give her more meaningful tasks. I even made it a point to CC her on emails regarding Carina’s project. Mainly because if I didn’t, Carina did.
To feel better about spending more cordial time around Alexandra, I still overtly dated. I came home more nights last week than I had before, but other evenings I had Laura take her home and left at the same time as them, meeting my date outside with an over the top kiss.
Distance was the key to having Alexandra around but not giving in to the way I craved her. Showing her how I hopped from woman-to-woman forced her to keep her distance. It forced her to not stare at me as she wove fairytales about how I rescued her or other women. God knows I hadn’t been strong enough to stay away. Every time she’d worked herself closer to me, I’d given in. I’d caved and touched her, told her in one way or another what I really wanted to do to her.
Distance was the key, even if it was just me forcing her to keep hers because I was a weak, horny, son of a bitch.
“Did you get the girl?”
I thought about not answering, but it would only be stubborn and we were past that. There was comfort with her knowing. Everyone close to me—all five people—knew what I did. Her knowing took the stress away of her finding out. And somehow admitting what had happened with my sister hadn’t hurt as much as it usually did when I said it out loud. It had hurt even less when she’d slipped her soft palm over mine, sharing her strength and comfort with one small touch.
“Yes,” I answered simply.
“How was she?”
“She was okay…not great.” We hadn’t gotten to her soon enough. It’d been two days after she was sold before we found her.
“Is she at Haven?”
“No. She had a family that had been looking for her. A good one.”
“That’s good.”
“Yes. Not many have that to fall back on.”
“Don’t I know it,” she mumbled as she looked down into her wineglass.
Her shoulders slumped and she made circles with her glass, swirling the dark liquid around and up the sides. Part of me wanted to wrap my arms around her, offer her some of the comfort she’d given me.
I shook off the notion before my feet could start moving. Distance. If I went to her and she let me, I’d cave.
“Are you done?” I asked, gesturing to the half-eaten slice of pizza in front of her.
She stared at it before smiling. “Just a couple more bites. Who knew I’d like mushrooms on pizza? Any other time I’ve had them, they were so gross.”