“Here you fuckers are,” a voice calls from the doorway. I look up to find Maxen walking through the back door before he drops down beside Brooke and steals a bite of her burger. “What are you all doing?”
“What do you know about Jackson’s transfer?” Nate asks.
The boys instantly fall into a deep discussion and I tune them out, pleased that their conversation manages to make me forget about my grieving heart for just a moment. That is until Brooke gives me ‘the look’, you know, the one that says it’s time to stop fucking around and get serious. “So, what happens now?” she questions as the boys talk around us. “Does this mean your parents are coming back and you’ll be moving home?”
My eyebrows pull down as I look at her. “I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “I haven’t really thought about it, but I’d assume so. They were only gone until… you know.”
She presses her lips together. “I guess it will be strange you not living here.”
I couldn’t agree more.
I slouch back into the couch as I look over at Nate. I find his dark eyes already on mine and realize that even though I love my parents deeply, I don’t want to leave here. The thought of not being with Nate every day is heartbreaking.
‘What’s wrong?’ he mouths, realizing that something is going through my head.
I shake my head ever so slightly, letting him know that now’s not the time. He simply nods his head once and gets back to the conversation with the boys as my world continues to unravel around me.
Eventually, Jesse disappears after he gets a phone call from some girl and Maxen takes Brooke home, leaving just me and Nate sitting out in the afternoon sun. He gets up and walks over to me before holding a hand out. I take it and he pulls me up to my feet and we head inside.
“What’s going on inside that head of yours?” he asks, clearly knowing that something other than my Nanna has been on my mind this afternoon.
I let out a sigh as he puts an arm around me and leads me into the den. “I just kind of realized that this means I’ll be moving back home soon,” I tell him.
“Yeah,” he says with a heavy heart. “I thought about that last night.”
“I don’t want to go,” I tell him quietly.
“I know,” he says. “But it will be fine. Nothing is going to change between us.”
“Everything’s going to change,” I argue. “I’ll be sleeping by myself and I won’t have you always there.”
“What?” he scoffs. “You think a locked door is going to stop me? Trust me, babe. You’ll never sleep alone.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yeah, Tora. It’s a promise.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and finally let myself relax down into the couch. “Alright,” I tell him. “I can live with that.”
Chapter 9
“I’m so sorry, my sweet girl,” my mother tells me through the screen of my phone as she sits in Nanna’s living room, looking incredible in her black designer dress, though, I don’t doubt she has a huge pair of black sunglasses that compliments her outfit to hide the red rims around her eyes. “I wish I hadn’t dropped it on you like that. I really wanted to be strong for you, but you are what makes me strong,” she explains. “And when I heard your voice… I crumbled.”
“It’s alright, mom. I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy,” I tell her. “At least you’ve got dad there with you.”
She lets out a sigh. “Yeah,” she says. “I couldn’t imagine having done this all by myself. Your father has been a godsend.”
“That’s good,” I say as I cross my legs under me in my bed. “How’re you holding up?” I ask, knowing that today isn’t going to be easy for her. It’s the middle of the night here, but for her, it’s the middle of the day and she’s about to bury her mother, the woman who gave birth to her and raised her into the incredible woman she is today. That couldn’t be easy. I’ve been lucky in life that I’ve made it seventeen years with never having to deal with death, apart from my Labrador, Trixie, a few years ago. And even though Trixie was very much a part of our family, this one just seems to cut right down in my soul.
“I don’t know,” mom says as a yawn rips through me. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
I give her a tight smile, wishing there was something I could do for her. Anything to help take the pain away, but with her a million miles away, there’s not a damn thing I can do. All I want is to throw my arms around her and let her know it will be ok, but it will have to wait.