“Sounds a lot like you. I kept telling you that prince charming was out there. You just had to kiss all the frogs first and blah, blah, blah, but you didn’t believe me.”
“Ross and I aren’t together. What happened last night was a mistake and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. We got carried away. That was it. After his parents walking in on us, we’re never going to go there again. We learned our lesson. We’re just going to be friends.”
Amy sighed dramatically. “That’s so disappointing. I would have liked to hear more dramatic horrifying and embarrassing stories. Or just steamy stories. You never date anyone hot. Ross is really, really hot.”
“You’re married!”
“I know, I know. I was just thinking for you. You deserve to be with someone who is going to give you a good experience. You’ve had a string of real stinkers in bed.”
“Thanks,” Teela shot back dryly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Just saying… maybe if it’s going to happen again, you should just let it. Just for you. Treat yourself.”
“You were just telling me how bad an idea that was!” Teela said incredulously.
“Maybe I changed my mind.”
“No, you just like to hear about drama and all my mortifying moments.”
Amy grinned. “What are best friends for?” She gripped Teela’s hand. “Anyway, I’m sure tomorrow will be fine. Just be yourself. They’ll love you.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Being myself. I swear I’m not that lovable.”
“That’s crazy talk. I love you. I love you like a sister. I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about what your box looks like. Even if they haven’t, they’ll be seeing it again in like, seven months.”
“Amy! They will not! I’m not letting anyone in there with me!”
“Not even me?”
“You want to witness me screaming and yelling like a madwoman while I’m in labor?”
“Of course! Like I said, what are friends for?”
“Well maybe I’ll make an exception for you then, but my parents and Ross’ parents and Ross himself aren’t going to be allowed in there. No way. I don’t need to be completely traumatized by the experience. And my poor va-jay is never going to be the same. Don’t need to traumatize it any more either by letting every single person on earth see it getting all stretched and ruined horribly.”
“I’m sure that’s not really a thing.”
“Want to bet?”
“Maybe after like five or six. Not after one.”
Teela swallowed hard. “I hope so. I never really thought about that part when I’d planned on being single for the rest of my life.” It shouldn’t matter because I’m still going to be single forever.
“Oh,” Amy added. “I almost forgot. Tell Ross that your best friend in the whole world says that if he ever hurts you, I will hunt him down and cut off his nuts with a pair of rusty pruning shears and feed them to the neighborhood cats.”
“Shit on a stick, that would make you sound like a crazy person.”
Amy winked. “When it comes to you, maybe I am.”
Teela groaned. She purposely pushed away thoughts about rusty shears and Ross’ balls which were pretty perfect, from what she remembered. That didn’t help so she tried to think of something else but all her mind could come up with apparently was images of Ross and his ridiculous muscles and bronzed skin and glorious body and masculinity and perfection up the ying-yang straight out of her mind. No, she was not going to think about his tongue or his lips or how talented he was with both of them. Amy was right. Her baby deserved a dad and if she screwed things up with Ross before they even got to that point, things were just going to be ugly and she didn’t want them to be ugly.
She wanted them to be beautiful. For herself. For her baby.
So, Ross was definitely off limits.
And even if she ended up with an ugly va-jay after giving birth, it wasn’t going to matter one bit.
CHAPTER 15
Ross
There had not been a single time in the history of the universe that his parents had ever been so excited about anything.
As soon as he walked in the front door, Teela trailing shyly in his wake, his mom had that oh my god, a baby twinkle in her eye and his dad had one of those I can’t believe you looks on his face. That was positive, Ross thought. Mostly positive. His dad wasn’t as baby crazy as his mom was but it wasn’t exactly a secret that the guy wanted to teach someone how to fish and mow the lawn on the ride on and do all that other grandfatherly things with.
“Oh my goodness, welcome! We’re so glad you could make it!” Ross’ mom skipped him completely and went straight for Teela. She wrapped her into a tight hug and after a second, Teela relaxed into it.