Ross nodded. “That makes sense. I could see myself doing the same if I was a woman.”
“Really?” Teela’s brow rose.
“Okay- no. That was a stupid thing to say. I don’t know why I even said that. I mean, if I wanted a child at this point, I’d likely adopt. I feel the same way you do. About relationships. I have yet to meet someone who wasn’t just in it for something I could give them. Like I said.” He shifted nervously on the couch. God, why was he repeating himself? He sounded like a sorry-ass version of a broken record about what not to do while dating. Was anti-therapy a thing. Like, he could counsel singles against relationships instead of giving dating advice?
“I get it,” Teela said graciously. “I- I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier. At work- and uh- this morning. I don’t usually go off like that. I’m a pretty level person most of the time.”
“I guess I bring out the best in you.”
Teela winced. “I might have told my friend that you were the devil. I might also have called you a troll in my mind over and over instead of using your real name.”
“How complimentary. I’m sure you’re not the first.”
“But I’m carrying your child. After I found out about that I was- shocked. I don’t think you’re supposed to find out that kind of stuff. Please don’t ask me how I did and how I know. I won’t give up any names. I don’t want to cost anyone their job. They didn’t mean anything by it. I was just going off about how much I disliked you and- uh- it just kind of came up. I guess she thought it was better that I know instead of hating my child’s father forever. That would be a bit harsh. She really meant well. She told me to do exactly the opposite of what I did. She’d be appalled if she found out that I’d told you that I know. She’d strangle me if she knew we were sitting together here talking about it.’
“Strangle? That’s harsh. You have violent friends.”
Teela cracked a small smile. “Okay, she wouldn’t really strangle me. She’d probably honestly turn into a spluttering horrified mess because she’d think for sure she was going to lose her job. She was practically crying last night when I told her that I’d quit mine.”
“That doesn’t have to be permanent. You can cash that cheque and still have your job back.”
“Really?” The disbelief in Teela’s voice broke his heart.
“Of course. I- I thought about this all day. I meant it when I said I don’t want to be a doormat and a bank account to someone, but then I thought that maybe there is a way I could provide for the baby. I could give you your job back and give you the ability to help yourself. I was the one who came and screwed everything up.”
“Don’t you have someone already?”
“I did bring in a lady, but she was just temping. She lives in Philly and doesn’t want to commute or relocate. I was hoping to hire someone local. It’s easier to give you your job back than it is to retrain someone. You know how the company works and how it runs. Plus there might be the whole pissed off staff thing. People don’t like the firings I had to do. They like it even less that you quit. I’ve had my fair share of stink eyes over the past few days.”
“All deserved, no doubt.”
“No doubt.” The easy banter was strange. Almost too easy. Ross could get used to it and that was a scary, scary thought. He couldn’t afford to get used to anything.
“I- what more did you want? I mean- would you want to meet him or her? Be a part of his or her life? What exactly did you come here to talk about? I was so shocked, and I reacted without even thinking. I didn’t want you to be a bank account. I had this idea in my head that you’d actually want to know your child. You might have others out there, but this one, you’d know for sure. I didn’t feel right, when I knew, about keeping that information a secret. Although, maybe I should have.”
“No-” Ross cut her off. “I’m sorry if I made you think that. This isn’t something I ever anticipated happening. I should have, based on the fact that I- uh- donated samples a couple of times, but I thought that information is kept secret. I know it is.”
“Yeah… please. Please-”
“I’m not going to do anything about it. Your friend and the clinic are safe. I was just being an asshole this morning. I’m sorry. It didn’t make it easy, I’m sure.”
“It wasn’t exactly an easy conversation.” Teela nodded in understanding and again, Ross had that strange, shivery sensation where his heart banged a little harder. Like they could actually be friends. Get along. Parent together. “It probably bowled you right over.”